Moments of Peace

I'm focused today. Lots of things on my list . . . and one way or another - I'm going to accomplish them! I've realized that I am the only person who can get me out of Funkytown. So, I'm working on it . . . one moment at a time.

I'm leaning on my *COURAGE* this week. When I picked that word, I had no idea how much I would rely on it. We (COURAGE and I) are standing up for ourselves. We are believing in each other. We are encouraging each other. It's a wonderful thing.

I also have these two amazing little girls . . . you know? These two little souls who continue to remind me of what really matters in this life of mine.


I was having one of those evenings last night . . . watching the clock every second waiting for bed time to come. Just praying for some quiet and the sounds of "Mommy . . . Mommmm? Mom! MOM! Mommy!!! Mom . . . Mom?!?!? MOM!!!!!" to rest their little heads down for the night and leave me with some peace. I was anxious, as getting these sweet souls off to sleep was starting to turn into a bit of a battle. . . Katie was particularly talkative, as I was called back into her room about three times before she finally settled down for the night. But the last "Mom???" from her made it all ok, as her words softened my anxious state.

"Mom?" she called.

"What is it now, Kate?" I answered.

"You know 'Adele'?" she asked.

"Yes, honey. I know Adele," I answered.

"I love to hear her music. It makes me think of you, Mommy. I think of you and can almost hear you singing along with her in our kitchen. It makes me so happy, Mommy. And birds . . . when I see them . . . the red cardinals or blue birds or anything like that . . . they make me think of you, too. I just wanted to tell you that." she said.

*sigh*

I have this memory of sitting at my Grandma's kitchen table . . . I must be around Katie's age (8 or 9) and I am watching her dance, as the sweet sounds of Big Band music play from her radio. I could have watched Grandma dance around her kitchen for hours. If I close my eyes now, I see her. Her right arm in the air holding her imaginary partner, her eyes closed, and her body turning round and round to the music. I can feel myself sway to the music in my mind, and feel as if Grandma is with me. It's a memory of my Grandma that makes my heart so happy.

Knowing that Katie has a memory of me signing in the kitchen to Adele made me stop in my tracks and think of Grandma. And the anxiety I've been carrying for weeks now just left my very soul.

It was a wonderful moment.

I bent down and kissed her forehead, and softly closed her door  . . . with the biggest smile on my face.

"Mom . . . . Mommmmy????" This time . . . it came from the room next door, and from Ella. "Mommy, can you just sit with me for a few minutes, while I fall asleep?" she asked.

"Sure, honey," I said. As I knelt on the floor next to her bed, she grabbed my arm and hand and snuggled up close to me. My hand ended up right on her chest, and I could feel her heart beating right in my palm. lub-dup, lub-dup, lub-dup, lub-dup, lub-dup, lub-dup, lub-dup . . . life. Right there. In the palm of my hand. Life that came from me. This beautiful beautiful being. 

*sigh*

My Moments of Peace. They were with me all along. I just needed to stop . . . be . . . and open my heart to them.

Today, I still feel that peace that both of my girls gave me last night.

It feels oh-so good.

And I thank God for these little girls.

I've got lots to do . . . and lots to create. I've decided that I need to release myself of the *GUILT* (gees, I hate that word. Does anyone else have a problem with GUILT in their life, or am I just a GUILT NUT) . . . anyway, I need to release myself of the GUILT I feel for not taking that job and I need to get back to what I want to do with my life. CREATE ART. CREATE INSPIRATION. CREATE a WORLD that will ENCOURAGE and INSPIRE beauty for ALL.

So, I'm doing something with all of these today . . .


Can't wait to share it with you.

Hugs, my friends. Wishing you Moments of Peace in your day.

Comments

  1. I know the decision was not easy, but I'm glad you decided to continue with your art. I have been struggling quite a bit myself lately and reading your blog is such an inspiration. Thank you for staying true to yourself. I look forward to seeing and purchasing some of your new creations in the coming months. :)

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  2. Hang in there Leanne! You have so much courage!
    And your beautiful girls are the reinforcement...

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  3. I really love reading your posts...especially when they bring up my own memories/thoughts of fixing dinner and singing in the kitchen (to Adele no less)with my own daughter!

    You are courageous and an inspiration!

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  4. Well this one sure brought up some wonderful memories, not to mention tears too. We have to stop and remember whats most important in our lives not matter what else we have going on!

    Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving a comment today. My vacation rental is in Florida on the south west coast near Venice - walking distance to the beach! Once we are finally ready to book I'll be giving my blog friends a discount :-)

    Hope you have a great week!

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  5. Beautiful post. I am sitting here with tears in my eyes. You REALLY get it. And you put it so well. Thank you.

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  6. lub-dup, lub-dup...LOVE it! Yes, it's life that you created.

    This is a beautiful, peaceful post.

    Release the guilt, my friend. It's an inspiration killer. And you don't need that right now.

    (BTW, did you notice that the word encourage has the word courage in it?)
    Hugs!!

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  7. This is a beautiful post...so perfect for me tonight. I am tired and achy and I needed this. What a precious memory...one you will NEVER forget. I have so many of those tender moments tucked in my heart.

    You are amazing.

    Love,
    Les

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  8. WOW - I think my blood pressure was instantly lowered as I read this. I feel it, my friend. I felt your peace... hold on to it!

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  9. I think we all can sit in Funkytown and get stuck there at times. Peace is always something I crave. I think I would love to move to a farm (without doing the farmwork, he, he, he) and just run around with my daughter, take care of the animals and simply be in nature. I long for that often. This area we live in is very stressful at times. Everyone is so scheduled and on the go, go, go! That is great, but if we are all always going then when are we taking the time to stop, listen and simpoly enjot the moment. I think that is why I love to take my daughter to the beach. It is very pecaeful there. Well, I am happy that you are using your new word for the year to keep you out of Funkytown my friend! Have a wonderful day! That is great that yiour children remond you of what is truly important. Enjoy all the little and big moments my friend!

    Mama Hen

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  10. That was a lot of typos in my comment. Oops! Don't tell anyone I was an English major! Ha!:) If you ever come to New York again, please let me know! We will meet you for an adventure! Have a great day my friend!

    Mama Hen

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  11. Did I hear you say, “GUILT”. My husband tells me that he thinks I sometimes “live in the land of regret". Yes, I know GUILT.

    You are so right, we are the only one that can get us out of Funkytown ... “one moment at a time.”

    Big hugs to you, my friend.

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  12. your girls are beautiful.
    They always have a knack for saying the right things at exactly the right moments...
    Just when our hearts need them the most.
    PS. Have you listened to Florence + the machine? Look up her song "Shake it out" on youtube. You'll love it. The video is weird but the words are epic

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