From Chaos Comes Happiness

I'm so glad tomorrow is the last day of 2013. So glad to put the year behind and start anew. The energy when starting something from the beginning is always so good for my soul. And I am ready for it.  The holidays were wonderful in our happy, and very often chaotic, home. Yesterday we celebrated holiday gathering # 'I lost count already', and with only three more gatherings left to participate in . . . I look forward to a day when all emotions are in check (yes, there is always drama around the holidays) and for the the celebrations to come to a close. That being said . . . I thought I would share a few photos of the past few weeks with you.          The weather has been wild, and winter has already hit hard. Snow came much earlier than most years, and we've already seen record low temps in our little corner of the world. But the view from my favorite road has never been lovelier . . .          I started shopping for gifts later th...

I love to say "thank you" to people. Actually, my favorite phrase is "thank you  SO much!" , with extra emphasis on the "so", because that's just how I roll. I use it as often in my daily life as possible. To the barrista at Starbucks who hands me my coffee, to the bagger at the grocery store who loads my shopping bags into my cart. To the stranger at a four-way-stop who lets me take a turn before them. The simple expression is one I say from my whole heart, and one that I hope to never forget for as long as I live. Thank you SO much. I like to thank my daughters, too, each morning as I gently wake them to start their day. I know that Katie is old enough to set her alarm clock and wake herself up, but there is something so special to me about those first moments when starting the day, that I choose to be the one to gentle welcome her into the land of the living. "Thank you for being my daughter," I tell her. The same with Ella, who will...

Oh, my friends. . . . I'm good. I really, really am. I received two emails, two texts, and three phone calls after my last blog post. Worried, concerned, and just letting me know they were there . . . these simple messages from friends and loved ones once again reminded me that I am not alone. Even when I feel a little blue . . . I am the furthest from alone. And the support I have around me is unending. Thank you. So, I'm feeling better. I'm throwing myself back into this creative life - full force. Preparing for a Holiday Open House I am having at my home on the 30th of this month, and trying to keep focused on my long term goals. What are those long term goals? I desperately do not want to return to a life in an office talking health insurance. I want, so very much , to keep forging ahead in my creative life. And I am going to do whatever I can to do just that. I do have plans, ideas, money making thoughts. So for now, I'm focused on that side of my li...

Oh, the ups and downs. The blues. The dumps. Whatever it is. I'm fighting them. Big time. It's sort of crazy - the emotional state of my creative soul. Up and down . . . feels like one heck of a roller coaster. Am I an artist? Can I do this? Can I make it? What is "making it"? How long can I keep this up? When will I be able to contribute regularly to our family? Will I ever be able to? Is it time to get back to work? Like . . . the kind real work that I used to do? Oh, I feel like I'm on one heck of a roller coaster these days. Up and down . . . and up again. I remember . . . way back when . . . that I used to come to my blog when I found myself in this state of mind. Write it out. The cheapest and most effective form of therapy for me. So, here I am. Putting it out there. Do with it what you will, Universe. Because, like all that I've said before . . . it's me. And it's real. Yes, I've found myself questioning what I am doing, ...

. . . to wish you . . .    Peace in your day. Peace in your mind and body and soul. Peace from all that worries you or keeps you up at night. I'm still here, my friends. I'm busy at work on two craft shows that I will be selling art and goods at this weekend. October was a blur, and November is following right along. I've so many stories to share. One, in particular, about some very interesting "signs" I've received recently. It's a good one . . . this story. But I'll have to do it next time. I just wanted to let you know that right now, this very minute, I am thinking of you. I am taking a deep breath in, and welcoming peace into my life . . . . right now. I wish the same for you. Because even when things are crazy . . . especially when things are crazy . . . I need a moment just like this. To stop. To breath. To regroup. To have peace. Much love, friends. xo

I made a new friend last week. It's exciting . . . the whole idea of making new friends. A short while ago, I came to some sort of understanding with the universe that I was just done with the 'making new friends' stage of life. I mean, I am constantly meeting new art friends online through various groups I am involved in . . . but a true face to face " NEW FRIEND "? I thought I was done. I am no longer in the business world and coming into contact with new people that way. And surprising as it may be . . . the Target check out lady and I have never gone for coffee (yet). ;) It's true . . . most of my time right now is spent on my daughters. Sure, I met new parents regularly as I drive my girls to and from different activities. But parent friends are very different from the ol'fashioned kind of "we have lots in common and can fill up an hour talking non-stop" friends. But last week . . . I made a new one. A new friend . And it's ki...

"         I  took a drive through the forest preserves near my house today . . . It was cloudy - a grayish overcast outside - but in these woods, you couldn't tell. The changing colors were still so present, clouds and all. And only 5 minutes into my ride . . . I could feel that we are in middle of a great change in seasons. And I loved that today. It was just me . . . and the crickets chirping, the birds tweeting, the small little stream trickling, and the distant train whistles blowing. And it was beautiful.           I like to drive through here every few weeks. Sometimes I get out and walk for a while, alone . . . but not very often. I must have seen too many SVU crime shows to be comfortable in the woods by myself. But I still love being there.  Sometimes I get upset when I see a car pull up behind me. In my moments of peace, I find myself feeling hurried along and bothered, and usually pull off to the side so the other vi...

                         I could hear the squeak of the storm door back and forth. "Mommy, come on! " Ella said, as she stood holding the screen door open for me. She was ever-so-impatient as I stopped on our walkway to gaze at the beautiful scene above me. "Give me a minute, honey," I told her. "I want to take a quick picture of the sky. Did you see how it looks this morning?" Katie joined 5th grade band this year, so two days a week we have to get up extra early and drive her to our local junior high, where the whole band gathers for a lesson before school. She is learning the clarinet, and I am so happy she has decided to participate. I am so proud of her. I don't mind getting out of the house early and driving her. Getting an early start on these days often gives me the opportunity to catch a glimpse of some amazing sunrises, like today.  Ella closed the screen door, walked back to where I was...

        It's been 48,960 minutes since I've written on my blog.  48,960. Wow.  That's just about 34 days. Never before (since starting this blog way   back  in 2009, that is) have I been away for so long.  But I needed it.  I  think I've needed it for a longtime.  And it was pretty darn good . . . this little break of mine. " What have you done in that time?" you ask?  Well, I've been to Italy. To Rome and the Amalfi Coast, that is. I've toured the Vatican, wept, and lit a candle at St. Peter's Basilica. I've eaten some of the best pasta I have ever had in my life. I saw the Mediterranean Sea, and drank the most amazing limoncello. I've visited Pompeii and took a good long look at Mount Vesuvius. I had the trip of a life time . . . . truly one I could have only dreamt of. Then I came home and worked really hard on my art - in preparation for a craft show at the end of the September. I painted, cut, glued, stamped and 'po...

                              So . . . in less than 20 hours, I will be boarding a plane and heading to Rome, Italy, where I will officially be able to cross off number 12 from my bucket list.  Number 12 reads "Travel to Italy", in case you were wondering. It's right before 13, "Color my hair bright red like Lucille Ball, just once" and right after 11, "Run a 5k". I'm kind of glad I haven't had the nerve to do number 13 yet. I am not sure I'm cut out to be a red head, but the thought always lingers each time a walk down the hair color isle at Target. And while each New Years Resolution has me thinking about number 11,  I'm not quite there yet either. So I'm glad I am trying number 12 first.  Yes, Italy it is.  It's about 12:49 am the night before I leave, and I find myself sitting here typing this post at my kitchen table. I went to bed at 11 pm, but tossed and turned for over an hour . . . ...

          My girls start school tomorrow. Katie will begin 5th grade and Ella is starting 1st.  And I am . . . ecstatic.  I'm so ecstatic, that I almost feel guilty about it.  I love my girls dearly . . . and if you have followed my blog for any amount of time, you know how very much that statement is true.  But my friends . . . I cannot wait for them to begin school this year.  We have had an incredibly wonderful summer full of adventures and laughter and fun. We've traveled from almost one side of our wonderful country to the other. We've volunteered and spread good cheer. We swam, we danced, we slept over, we picked cherries and blueberries, we walked, we gardened, we laughed, we fed, we ate, we celebrated, and we played just about as hard as anyone could. And now, this momma is desperate to get a little normalcy back to her days.  With the small exception of the art classes I taught - I've hardly painted the whole summer long. A...

        I have a certain table covering I use when creating.    It's vinyl and strong and easy to wipe down. I bought it years ago at Kohl's, I believe. I originally bought it for a family gathering in the spring/summer season. But at some point, I must have put it out for a crafting day and gotten a splash of paint on it. Since then, it has become my official crafting table cloth.  And it makes me super happy. The minute I pull it out, I am reminded of the hundreds (yes, hundreds) of things created on its very surface.  I am reminded of the moments of pure bliss I've experienced when I am in that major creative mode.  I see the splashes I have made on it, and splashes the girls have made, too.  It certainly has a few story to tell. Like when I discovered who the artist was inside of me, and discovered the kinds of art I wanted to make.  Or like the moment when Ella painted a mustache on her face.  This weekend, I pulled it out...

I've been thinking so much about how I am raising my daughters these days. I want my daughters to know how it feels to help the world, and to know that they have the power to make a difference in it. I don't want them to think there are obstacles they can't overcome. I want my daughters to be grateful for all that they have, each and every day of their lives. To know that even though there are  wants , they truly have all that they need , and they have more blessings then they could even imagine. I don't want them to ever obsess over the labels on their clothes or the number of shirts in their closets. I want my daughters to think back on their childhood and remember the moments when they showed  kindness towards others. When they volunteered. When they made cookies for neighbors. When they prayed. When they loved, and when they were loved in return. I don't want them to expect things to be handed to them. I want my daughters to treat other...

             My sweetheart Katie, who just turned 10 the end of June, is having growing pains. She is changing by the minute, and going through some of those tough life lessons that so many of us have gone through in our lives. She is testing her independence and questioning some of my decisions. She is learning how to communicate and express herself more and more. And she is learning that her actions have consequences (probably the hardest lesson for kids to learn, I think.)  Tonight she told me that she wished she could go back in time and do some things differently (in her short 10 year old life). This statement did not sit well with me, her self-proclaimed "No Regrets Ever" mother.  "Why, honey?" I asked. "Why would you want to go back in time?" "Well, for three reasons," she answered.  "For starters, I would want to dress a little nicer all of the time. All I do is wear t-shirts and shorts and if I change how I look now, everyone wi...

We've been so busy the past week or so . . . from trips into the city, a day at the Art Institute, an over night at Nana and Papa's, and blueberry picking fun . . . my mind is racing. I think I've taught a few art classes in between, too . . . although I might be imagining that. Phil is in the middle of a nightmarishly hectic work season, and has to miss most of the fun. This makes me uber sad, and also gives me a for real experience of being a single mom. And let me tell you . . . it's exhausting. Our summer calendar has been filled out thoroughly and very strategically, with plans and opportunities for adventures at almost every hour. And it is catching up to me. I am  l o n g i n g  for some free time, as I've decided this constant activity is not good for my soul. I need quiet time. Unscheduled days. Moments when I can allow my head to move from thought to thought freely, without forcing it to adapt to ...

          I had a great moment the other day. A "sing from the mountain top" sort of moment. A happy tear jerking, good lump in the throat feeling sort of moment.  I opened a piece of mail . . . and inside was my very first . . . ever . . . pay check - for teaching art. For real. The dollar amount doesn't matter . . . because truth be told, I have opened pay checks for lots more dollars during this life of mine.  But this one was different. Completely. It was a pay check . . . for doing something that I love. And it was like a dream.  I held it up to Phil Guy and said, "Look . . . Look . . . I got paid. For teaching art. I got paid. Real money!" And his smile showed that he got it - he completely understood.  I could have stared at that check for hours, and I am certain I stared at it longer than most. But it stood for so much more to me than the money involved. It stood for  years of trying to find my passion - years of discovering who...

One of the biggest lessons I've learned about myself in recent months . . . is that I absolutely love using my art to inspire others. I love sharing my art with people and hopefully lending a bit of inspiration into their day. It's really why I've found myself on this path of living a creative life and is one of the things and matters to me most. So I came up with this class idea for young girls . . . I call it HeArt & Soul. And while I know there are a million "HeArt & Soul" references out there in the world (or at least a thousand) . . . this is my spin on it. And last week, I had a few of Katie and Ella's friends over to try it out. The project is for each girl to make their own little book of happy thoughts, happy photos and happy memories. And my hope is that they'll discover something pretty special about themselves along the way. I start with some supplies and a few pages of inspiration that I'...