Renewing the Focus

I've made a fairly big decision about how I am going to play out this amazing 2014 and my attempts to FOCUS. Remember, focus is my "word" for the year: what I am going to work towards, what is going to help me move forward physically, mentally, creatively and spiritually. It is THE plan for 2014. FOCUS.

I'm working so hard at it, my friends. Truly and deeply. Each and every day. I am in living in the moment, really stopping my mind when it starts trailing off into a thousand and one directions, and keep myself grounded in the now. It is actually a lot harder than I thought it would be, but so very worth it.

I'm feeling good this year. Really good.

So, back to my decision.

One of my favorite artists and mentors introduced an e-course on her amazing craft this year. I was on the email list for updates on the class, and quickly opened the announcement when it came out. I was THRILLED (like - butterflies in the stomach excited) when I saw it. But as I quickly gazed through the selling point of the class (the whole "why you should take this" text . . . because I really didn't need to be sold on it . . . in my head I had already signed up and was already there), my heart absolutely sank when I got to the important part . . . the cost.

It was high.

Much higher than I anticipated.

Much higher than I ever thought.

Much higher than I could spend.

So, I got upset. Down right mad, I tell you.

I was angry.

I went back and looked at the sales pitch part of the email (because at this point, I needed to talk myself into why this was so important to me - so important to my soul - something I needed to spend so much money on), and I realized one thing.

I don't need it.

This is where the FOCUS comes back into play.

For the past three (er-has it been four?) years, I have signed up for one sort, or another, of an online course. Scrapbooking, writing, soul searching, painting, journaling, blogging, crafting, or all of the above. I've downloaded hundreds of papers and worksheets, I searched deep into my soul to find the real me, I've learned some great (and some not-so-great) techniques. I've bought new products. I've stayed up late answering hard questions. I've done quite a lot.

And I have loved it. It's been one great experience after another.

But there comes a time when you have to stop watching someone else do it . . . and just do it yourself.

Does that make sense?

There comes a time when you have to stop spending your time following the path of another, and decide what your very own path is going to be.

So for me, this year . . . I'm doing it. I'm saying NO. No online classes. No e-courses. No .pdf downloads. Nothing. Not a one.

Because when I really ask myself what it is I will gain from all of it, the answer is usually the same . . . I will gain a lot of additional pressure that I put on myself, I will gain feelings of never being able to be as good as them - to paint as well as them, to write as well as them, to dress as cool as they do, to take pictures as well as they do.

And my friends, I don't want to feel that way . . . anymore.

Now, I am not saying I will never take an online class again. Believe me, they are amazing! Having the opportunity to learn, at any time in life, is a blessing and a gift. And I WILL head down that road again!

But this year . . . I want to FOCUS. On what I have to give. What I can paint. What I can write. What I can do.

And I don't need a class for that.

I don't need to reinvent myself through the eyes of yet another online class.

This year, I am going to focus on being the best ME that I can be.

And coming to that realization on January 16th, 2014 already makes this FOCUS word pretty awesome.

Wishing you Peace, my friends. And lots of time to focus on what matters to you.

xo