From Chaos Comes Happiness

December 4 I sat down to write my blog this morning and wanted very much to keep it light and positive - with no mention of challenges or anxiety. Then I realized in doing that, I wouldn't be true to me. And if I want to do anything in writing daily, it is wanting to remain true to what I am feeling each and every day. And some days are harder than others. So while I am sitting here trying to find my words, I decided to click through some of my dear online friends blogs and see if  could find the inspiration I needed to pull the happy out of me. I stumbled upon a blog post of a dear art friend, Kelli May-Krenz, and it hit home. It's about anxiety . . . and her strong unending determination to love life, even when it is hard (you can read her post here ,  if you'd like.) OH, that genius Kelli! Today, she pinned the tail on the donkey for me. 110% Because I do love life - truly and deeply. But today, it is...

                                My honey (PG, the husband, the one who makes my heart full) returned home last night from what I believe is his last trip of the year. I think. (😳 maybe I better confirm.) He travels for his job, a lot.  Some trips I welcome - I can tell when he is getting antsy and needs a change of scenery, and the space does us both some good. But this fall - his trips have been a bit challenging for me, seem to have fallen on the very weeks when I am SUPER busy with life, and I have missed him terribly.  I sleep better when he is home.  Ok, just confirmed . . . One more overnight mid month, then we are done.  I can handle that.  It's funny - I always say that when he is gone for a longer period of time, the adrenaline kicks in and I am super organized, get the housework and chores and work and kids stuff done, and go into some sort of autopilot mode. When he comes...

  December 2 What a cathartic morning.  Truly.  I didn't wake planning on making such a move. But the universe called me to do it . . . and it felt so good. Going through a stack of books I intend to donate today, I came across one that was gifted to me by a couple of former bosses many years ago - at least 5, I am thinking. I worked for a healthcare consulting company at the time, and the more I think about - the funnier it is (that I was working for a healthcare consulting company, and this was what the bosses distributed to all of us. Not a book on business practices, or a book on job focus, organization, or skill building. No.) They gave a book by Iyanla Vanzant. A book about spiritual strength and personal growth.  Now, I am not here to slam Iyanla - I think she is brilliant. Truly. An inner peaceful and soulful person who has changed the lives of MANY - a woman who has even said things that have changed mine . I l...

December 1 I want so much to stop the clock this month. To look. To take it all in. To BE in the moment. To LIVE the now. And NOT think about the tomorrow. Because I don't know where the past 11 months have gone. This morning as Ella and I sat at the kitchen table before our day began, Ella watching a Minecraft Video on her iPad and me catching up on my Yahtzee game, it felt as if time stood still for a brief moment. I stopped. I took it in. It was her breath that did it. It caught my attention and caused me to pause. This beautiful little soul that I brought into the world. My daughter. The sound of her breathing in and out softly, as she did her thing, brought a calmness over myself that I haven't felt in what seems like years. I grabbed my phone and snapped a photo of her, and then just sat there watching her. Hugging her Teddy. Her very best friend. She's changed so much this Fall. Glasses. Braces. Growing like a weed. Each day I watch her blo...