Perfect. Just as I am.

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My daughters think I am perfect. Beautiful. At 7am in the morning, just out of bed, with hair tousled and makeup smeared, I am beautiful. "The most beautiful Mommy in the whole wide world," is what they say. I am not naive enough to believe them. I know there are far more beautiful mommies out there in the world than I. But to them, I am perfect. Just as I am. And I love them for that.

My husband thinks I am perfect. Beautiful. He's seen me at my best, and at my worst. Smaller, bigger, in labor or post op from surgery, with the flu or even hung over, he thinks I am beautiful. Stressed out, or laughing until I spit water out of my mouth, he thinks I am beautiful. I know it, because he tells me. I know it, because of how he looks at me - the way that only he has ever looked at me. The smile that tells me he loves me. The words. He is a handsome man, my husband. And he . . . in all his handsomeness . . . loves me. Just as I am. And I love him for that.

I know that not everyone thinks I am perfect or beautiful. Just as I am.

Some people think I could be the "before" person on a Weight Watchers campaign poster. They've even said so, in a crowded room. It's ok. I could be. I know it.

Some people probably even look at my husband and wonder how he married me. Why he married me. Why he stays married to me. He could easily get any woman on the planet. Really. And they have no problem saying it out loud. It's ok.

Some people think they have to tell you when you have gained weight. As if you don't already know you are on a downward spiral. As if you can't tell yourself when you are buttoning your jeans or putting your shoes on. It amuses me . . .  this need to tell someone that they are getting heavy. Really?

I know I am not the best I can be.

But each and every day, I try.

I wake up each morning with the desire to leave the world a little better and a little brighter, when I close my eyes that night. I raise my daughters to love what is on the inside of a person. I accept you for who you are.  I try, each and every day, to make good choices. To work on myself. To love others. To treat others as I wish to be treated.

I do not like to be watched. Judged. Criticized. By anyone.

I don't know anyone in the world who would like that.

I want to be loved. Accepted. Enjoyed. Cherished.

Just as I am.

No. I am not perfect. Never said I was. Never wanted to be.

And I am working on me.

Each and every day.

But today . . .

I am me. And I love me.

Just as I am.

Comments

  1. AnonymousFebruary 19, 2013 at 9:05 AM

    FABULOUS, my Sweet - just like you!!! It is such a wonderful thing to be loved for you and even more so that you are loving yourself, in your perfect imperfectness! xo Renee

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yenta MaryFebruary 19, 2013 at 9:08 AM

    Perfect - both your message and YOU! I adore you, one of my very favorite people, not for how you look - though you're gorgeous! - but because of WHO you are. You're physically beautiful because of your radiant smile, which comes from the joy you bring to the world. You're physically beautiful because of the brightness in your eyes, which see through the nonsense of daily life to its true glory, which see through context and into people's hearts. You're physically beautiful because your manicured nails rest on hands that create spiritual, meaningful, joyful art. One of the best fortune cookies I ever opened had this message: Beauty is in the heart of the beholder. And that is so true, because we're all going to age and wrinkle, we're all going gain/lose weight, we're all going to find ourselves with surgical scars; our physical selves will change. But true beauty comes from within, and shines through all of that ....

    ReplyDelete
  3. Cindi aka EricksocFebruary 19, 2013 at 9:21 AM

    I cherish you, my dear friend, just as you are. Kind, gentle, fun, beautiful, creative, amazing Leanne.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousFebruary 19, 2013 at 9:42 AM

    well said! we r who we r! and no one can tell us differently! = ) Jen

    ReplyDelete
  5. SelenaintxFebruary 19, 2013 at 10:18 AM

    And we love you too, just as you are!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Renee SutsFebruary 19, 2013 at 10:52 AM

    <3 This is the reason you've been my hero & someone I've looked up to for so long. Love you to the moon!

    ReplyDelete
  7. UnknownFebruary 19, 2013 at 11:27 AM

    You ARE perfect as YOU! Don't ever change! (((hugs)))

    ReplyDelete
  8. UnknownFebruary 19, 2013 at 11:28 AM

    YOU are perfect as YOU!!!! Don't ever change!!! (((hugs)))

    ReplyDelete
  9. IsabelFebruary 19, 2013 at 12:12 PM

    Love the post and You Are Awesome Just as you are:O) Love LOve to you sweet lady:O)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Phil WargowskyFebruary 19, 2013 at 12:49 PM

    Love you beautiful babe.

    ReplyDelete
  11. scrapwordsmomFebruary 19, 2013 at 4:31 PM

    And I love you, too!! Just. the. way. you. are:)

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousFebruary 19, 2013 at 9:35 PM

    Leanne I love you for who you are and I would trade a thousand days for one day in you life. I envy you and who you are !!!!! Hollie

    ReplyDelete
  13. Peggy KFebruary 20, 2013 at 5:46 AM

    Leanne, I applaud you for writing this. I know this post has been within you for a very long time, and desperately needed to be published! High five and a wink, Sweetie!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. NicoleFebruary 20, 2013 at 7:22 AM

    Oh my dear, sweet Leanne. You have the most beautiful smile, eyes, personality, funky hair dos (your newest!) and incredible talent. I am glad you are at a point in your life where you can love yourself. I feel a little sadness and pain when I read this, but most importantly, I understand. You are beautiful - inside and out. Not many people can say that.

    PS- I have NEVER understood why people say things like they did to you. My favorite backhanded compliment is when I tell people I am finally going to the gym or eating right or whatever is, "Nicole, you have such a pretty face. It's shame you don't lose the weight."

    Yeah.

    Screw them. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  15. NicoleFebruary 20, 2013 at 7:22 AM

    Oh my dear, sweet Leanne. You have the most beautiful smile, eyes, personality, funky hair dos (your newest!) and incredible talent. I am glad you are at a point in your life where you can love yourself. I feel a little sadness and pain when I read this, but most importantly, I understand. You are beautiful - inside and out. Not many people can say that.

    PS- I have NEVER understood why people say things like they did to you. My favorite backhanded compliment is when I tell people I am finally going to the gym or eating right or whatever is, "Nicole, you have such a pretty face. It's shame you don't lose the weight."

    Yeah.

    Screw them. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  16. UnknownFebruary 25, 2013 at 1:44 PM

    My heart is aching. I relate it. I so relate. I wish I could accept myself as I am, and not as I "will be" (hopefully, one day).

    ReplyDelete

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