Awesome

"Have you ever seen God?" she asked. 

This is Ella. The old-soul, youngest daughter, deep thinker, sensitive hearted, love of my life. 

And sometimes she asks me those questions when I am not totally in the right frame of mind. Like this morning, as I was making her lunch and watching the clock, urging her to brush her teeth, pack up her backpack, trying to get her to comb her hair and make it to the corner before the bus was scheduled to arrive . . . in about five minutes. 

I think to myself, "quick . . . what was it I read in that book years ago on answering the tough questions? What would our Religious Ed Director say? How should I answer this with the softness that she needs, in a way that would fill her soul in faith?" 

"Well," I start . . . turning off the kitchen faucet and drying my hands, facing her - so she knows that this is a serious reply to a pretty serious inquiry. "I do see Him . . . I saw Him the moment I met you, when the doctor handed you to me. I see Him in the flowers that grow outside - the ones that  share their beauty with us each and every day. I see Him in that sky," I say, pointing out the window to the most beautifully painted streaks of blue and white, "that sky right there. Because I believe that only God could make a sky as beautiful as that. I see Him in all the things that bring me love. Because that is what God is to me . . . He is love. So I see Him all of the time."  

She sat there looking at me with the sweetest of grins, taking in all that I said . . . really contemplating it. 

"Yeah," she said, "I see Him, too," as she turned to finish what she was writing in her little notebook.  

And I exhaled. 

It's hard to understand it all - the whole faith thing. The God thing. It's hard for me, and I am 43 years old. I can only imagine how confusing it can be for a 7 year old. But Faith is something that Ella has always had, too. She has always talked about God and religion in ways I hadn't experienced with Katie. Katie is a much more literal thinker, and it is hard for her to get a handle on it. With Ella, it's just there.  

"I'm sure glad God gave us the birds, aren't you Mommy?" she said, as we held hands walking to the bus a few minutes later. "I love to hear them singing," she ended. 

"Yes, honey. I sure do, too," I told her. 

When I came back inside, I started to clean up the kitchen table, and couldn't help but glance down at her notebook. Her note this morning brought me to tears . . . instantly. 

                     

Yes. She does see God. I am pretty sure of it. 

And I am also sure that Ella is a very awesome Ella.  

Big time. 

Xo