Sometimes . . . I forget

        

It's been a busy, and chaotic couple of days here in our house. 

Busy with school activities, Girl Scouts, swimming, broken lawn mowers, doctor visits for coughs that just won't quite, business trips for daddy, art classes for mommy, and a whole bunch of other things that I have already filed in that 'short term memory' box days ago. 

In the midst of all of that, I've been trying my best to be a good mom. You know, the kind who stops what she is focused on when she has a moody 6th grader who needs some love. Or the kind who stops cooking dinner and plays school with her 2nd grader when she needs to. 

You know, that good kind of mom. 

I am not always that kind of mom, though. Because sometimes . . . I just . . . forget. 

I forget that it is hard to be 11 and 7.

It really, really is.

It's hard when your body is changing, when your emotions are going up and down and you can't even begin to understand why you feel this way - like no one understands you. It is hard when you feel like you don't have a friend in the world, and when you feel like you have no one to tell your secrets to. (We all need someone to tell our secrets to.)  It's hard when you feel so overwhelmed by band and swimming and math and religious ed and all the other school work and responsibilities. Or when your sister just doesn't want to play with you when you want to play with her. So instead of playing, you do whatever you can to PRESS her buttons - because you know just what to do to make her mad. It's hard when you are being told to do this, or do that, but really don't want to do any of it. When all of a sudden you are expected to act like such a grown up and have good grades and go to practice and be nice to your sister . . . when inside you want to just want to be a kid - like, a little little kid - and not have to do any of it. When you just want to color, or watch Dora, or crawl up on your moms lap, like you used to a few years ago. Yes, that is what you really want. Although right now, you are almost too big to crawl in moms lap . . . and sometimes that makes you sad. Yes. It is hard. And sometimes . . . I forget.

The age of 11 and 7. 

Yes, I forget that. 

So these days, I am trying to remember. Trying to stop my head from constantly thinking about all the 'life happenings' on our family plate, and just focus on my daughters. 

I've been spending a lot of time thinking about the kind of mom I want to be to them - not only now, but when they are older. The kind that believes in them, that encourages a life of adventure and independence. One that will provide guidance, but will do my very best to support their choices - because it is, after all, their choices. I will never make either of them responsible for me or Phil - never. I will be a parent that will constantly remind them of the things that matter in this life (love, health, faith, dreams) and try to discourage them from what doesn't matter (materialism, anger, gossip.) One that will cheer them on where ever they are, when ever they need it, and hold them up when they fall. We are human. We all fall, at one time or another. And they will fall. But I will be there. Yes, that is the type of parent I want to be. One like that. 

Katie already talks about college - can you believe it? (And this is strictly her own doing.) She dreams, already, of attending the University of Arizona (she fell in love with Arizona when we vacationed there, and knows her auntie and uncle plan to retire there - so she hopes to school there and be near them when she is older.) I encourage her to go . . . to fly where ever the wind takes her . . . to follow her dreams whatever they may be.  While I don't wish for them to grow quickly . . . I can not WAIT to see where they go in this life, these girls of mine. I can't wait to watch them blossom into beautiful adults, because right now - they are pretty amazing children. 

And now . . . right now . . . I am trying to remember what they need today.  Lots of encouragement, inspiration, feelings of protection, support, and most importantly, love.  

Yes, sometimes, I forget. But I am so grateful when I remember.

Wishing you peace, my friends . . . and times of 'forget' and 'remember'. Because they are both, equally, wonderful. 

xo