Doing It

      

I'm doing it. 

I am. 

I. AM. DOING. IT. 

I came to this realization last night, as I was packing up for my next art class at Bedford Park District (takes place Monday night, by the way, and I am really excited about it - because it is different from anything I have offered before.) But . . . I digress . . . as I stood in front of my plastic bin filling it with supplies and counting brushes & canvases - I realized, I am doing it. 

I am having my cake . . . and eating it, too. 

Over a year ago, Phil and I had a discussion about the idea of me returning to work. At the time, the thought upset me so much - that I think I cried for a number of days and totally shut down. It broke me. I don't know why. No, I take that back. I know exactly why. 

I was scared. I was afraid I was going to have to give up this creative life that I have worked so hard to get to in the past three years. I was afraid I couldn't do it all. I was afraid I would not have time, nor energy, nor the need or desire, to keep pushing forward in art AND hold down a job. Wait, to keep going in art and hold down a job, AND keep my house running, keep the kids straight between school, their activities, their ups and downs, Browines, Girl Scouts, Church, doctor visits, dentist visits, and all the other things that we do in this life. 

      

Now, I know I am only two months into this . . . but, let me just say that again . . . I am TWO  MONTHS into this - and I am DOING it!!! 

I know I am not doing it alone. I have relied heavily on my Mom and my Mother-in-law for help with the girls before and after school. And that help is something I am so very grateful for. (Thank you, Mom and Lill. I am truly so very grateful.) 

But, my friends . . . Still . . . I am doing it!!!

In the past two months, I have taken the path rather seriously. Looking ahead - never stopping to look back. Focused on what I have to do - taking it one day at a time. I have focused on the new job wholeheartedly when there. I have taken my days off during the week and poured myself into my art. I have attended on craft fair in December - full of my product - and done really well! I have prepared and given three art classes. Made myself paint FOR myself (oh, I love this art piece below) and continued this creative path with my whole heart. 

                        

I feel more complete, I think, than I have ever before. And it feels wonderful. 

I don't write this for a pat on the back - believe me. I know that what I am doing may not even be a small portion to the things others are able to do. I guess I bring it up today to remind us all that when we are faced with circumstances that we think are impossible - we must never lose sight of what we want. We must continue to push ahead, and not allow ourselves to get caught up in the negative thoughts of the "I can not". We must tell ourselves that we "CAN", and keep moving forward. Because when we do take the time to stop and look back, we just may surprise ourselves by what we have done. 

And that, my friends, is a pretty awesome thing. 

Wishing you peace, and a glorious today. 

xo