Morning and Mourning

 

Driving into work one day this week, I was blown away by the beautiful sunrise unfolding in front of me. The Morning. I stopped my car while pulling in and took a few photos of the sky. The photo, of course, doesn't do justice to the sun rays illuminating behind the clouds. I wish I could have captured it clearer for you - it was glorious. 

I sat right there in my car for a few minutes, taking it in. It changed quickly and I was grateful that I caught it for the brief minute (or two) when it looked like this. It was everything I needed that morning - a moment to breathe in and reflect. Focus. Be. 

When I look at the photo now, it makes me think of some people who have stepped out of my life the past year. People who left - not in death, but for whatever their own reasonings may be. And it is now, looking at this picture, that I find myself coming to terms with this process . . . the loss of people from our circles who are still very much alive, but who needed to leave them, for their own reasons. The process of letting them go. The Mourning. 

Don't you think it's important to mourn those relationships? How even when someone hasn't died, there is a period of mourning that we go through when they have become absent from your life. In a way, I guess it is a death. And as painful as it may be - we need to give it the attention it deserves, albeit brief, but truly allow those feelings to work through our minds, our hearts, our bodies. I have been doing a lot of work on this . . . and let me tell you - it is hard, uncomfortable, hurts like hell, and one of the most difficult things I have had to accept. 

One person who walked out of my life - was someone who couldn't keep a relationship with me and my family after my sister passed. It was too hard and painful for them. Too much of a constant reminder of what was gone and no longer here. Too hard to try and move on in their own life. I get it. I understand. I miss them, but I know it was impossible for them to continue with us, no matter how hard I tried. I am no longer holding on to the shock of it. I mourned. 

The other people who left, I am still coming to terms with. I have been misunderstood and completely destroyed by them. I have been insulted. I have not been heard, or even given an opportunity to speak. This one is hard. But I cannot, any longer, allow it damage me. It is pretty horrible if you feel like you have been misunderstood. But my friend . . . 

I saw that quote this week, and I has stayed with me. If they want to leave your life, why do you want them to stay? 

Mourning. It is ok. And even though it may be the hardest thing you have to go though, it is most often an absolute necessity to peace in your own heart and soul.  And finally . . . the morning I took this photo . . . I felt a shift in the universe. 

I let them go. 

Wishing you peace, dear ones. 

xo xo