Embracing ALL of Me

I've sat down and written this post three or four times now. I guess if something doesn't come easily, then I should just give it up, huh? For some reason, though, I couldn't. Especially after reading so many blogs this week on "embracing imperfections". Please allow me to share my own "embracing" story . . . the good, the bad, and the ugly.

When I started writing this post, I was heated and the blood was boiling. I was venting to the max and I wanted to tear it up with all my blogland friends. I think hanging around in blogland with my dear friend Nicole has got me liberated! ;) 

But then I decided that I needed to approach it all a little differently. I want to stay true to the person I am, so I'm decided to put a positive spin on what made me so annoyed this week.

Allow me, if you will, to share . . .

A few days ago, I stumbled upon a couple of blogs that just made me stop in my tracks and wonder … What in the world is happening? (It doesn’t matter what the blogs are or who they belong to, so none of that will be shared.) What bothered me was what was written and the struggles the authors are obviously faced with. For them, I dedicate this post . . . on embracing life - all of it.

One of the blogs was written by a woman who has, in the past 2 years, gained some weight. Now, I do not know this person directly, but what I can find out through her words is that she's been a little bit on the chubby side for most of her adult life (she tells you that in her blog.) Stick with me, I swear I am not judging her weight in ANY WAY!!! If you know me – you know that I AM CHUBBY and the last thing I would do would be to comment negatively on another person. But here’s where I get annoyed . . . her past 4 or 5 (or maybe even 10, because quite frankly, I stopped after reading 5 of them) blog posts are completely written about the excuses as to why she is chubby and why she has gained weight. She goes on, in great detail, to justify and explain, to self diagnose (she says so, herself) everything that is wrong with her 'medically' and why she is who she is. She discusses, in great detail, with very medical terms and definitions, why she is a little more plump this year than last. However, she comes right out to say she hasn't been to a doctor, although it could be 'blah, blah blah' that has caused her weight issue.

Here is where my frustration comes in . . .

For the love of the Lord . . . can it be that she is just . . . CHUBBY???? Do we have to, in the middle of making ourselves feel better about ourselves, come up with medical problems to explain our chubbiness? And not only medical issues, but she even goes on to blame her husband, his work schedule, her marriage, her children, and pretty much everything else around her for her weight.

I don’t know why . . . but this really really bothers me.

You see . . . I am chubby. (I KNOW! SHOCKING, isn't it???) But wait . . . let me clarify . . . I am chubby because I don’t take care of myself. I am chubby because . . .  I snack at night, when it is absolutely the WORST TIME possible to do so. I am chubby because I should exercise more and I should eat less. I am chubby . . . because of how I live my life.

NOT because my husband travels so much and I am home alone.
NOT because the girls go to sleep and I am bored at night and have nothing else to do.
NOT because I have a thyroid problem, or “this” or “that” wrong with me.
NOT because my gym shoes are uncomfortable, my socks don't fit right, and I don't have the money to buy new shoes.

NO, not at all. I am chubby . . . because of ME.

And here is the thing . . . I am who I am. THIS is ME. And I recognize that I, and ONLY I, can change it. There isn’t a medical problem that has caused me to be this way (although I do recognize that there are some illnesses and medications out there that cause weight gain, I really do). Someday I will be able to get control of myself and take care of myself - I believe that. Until that time, I'm going to accept myself and embrace myself. And not focus on the negative of what is "wrong" with me. People spend so much time focusing on the negative then just cutting to the chase. So today, I’m cutting to the chase.

Now, before you sign me off and un-follow me, deciding that you don’t want to read me anymore (which I hope you won’t do), I want to say that I do understand our blogs are our own, and we each have the absolute right to write whatever it is that we want. I have been know to admit that my own blog is very much a therapy session for me, and I have often stepped on the Pity-Party-Podium and written about it to you. Most of us have, at one time or another.  However, I've got the feeling that this sort of "woe-is-me" writing is what this person does all of the time. Well, I guess that might just be the purpose of her blog. I will say that I applaud the author as she works through these issues of hers, for I know that talking about something as personal as your own weight is not comfortable for everyone (Lord knows, it certainly isn’t comfortable for me).

But what I really wish I could do is get her to stop and embrace the person she is . . . chubby and all. I guess that is what this post really is about . . . don't throw excuses out there . . . don't blame everyone else for your life . . . stand up . . . take ownership of who you are and what you are . . . but above all else . . .LOVE YOURSELF. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.

Yes, life is hard. But there comes a time when you have to forgive yourself, love yourself, and move on.

Today, I'm moving on  . . . and I probably won't visit that particular blog any longer. I don't think my words would even help her. But maybe someone reading this will stop and realize that it's ok to be "chubby" . . . it's even better than ok. It's damn near perfect . . . imperfections and all.