No Worries

GREETINGS MY DARLING and BELOVED FRIENDS!!!

How do you do??

Here I am, FINALLY,  returning to the land of the living . . . and feeling so much better than this time last week. Don't you hate how those nasty little bugs can come upon you, really working hard to tear you up? I thought I was a goner last week, but one incredible weekend of friends, chicken soup, and family, was just about all I needed to shake these nasty germs away.

I woke up today feeling . . . fresh, energized, and alive. More than I have in the past few weeks, for sure. I may not be 100% (and have a cough that still sounds pretty nasty). But, what's most important is that my spirit is feeling better, too. After an incredibly restful Friday evening and Saturday (thanks to my dear friend Kathleen and her husband, Mike), and a wonderful chicken soup dinner on Saturday (thanks to another dear friend, Karen), I was able to host our annual Halloween shin-dig yesterday. The good part - it was a BEAUTIFUL day full of good food and Halloween fun. The bad part - I don't think we took many pictures. Not sure what happened, but we kind of . . . forgot. Just too busy "be"ing. You can see a few photos from of the girls over at my sister's blog here, if you wish. (Tell her I said "Hi"!)

All in all, I'm glad to put this most recent bought of nasty cold and cough behind me, and get on with life. . . .

And there seems no better time to do this, than right now.

All of this down time over the last week left me with many many minutes to . . . think. These random thinking moments usually bring up some good blog topics, but this time, my thoughts were a little more serious. This time, I started to think about something I do in my own life that I want to get control of. Something that takes a great deal of energy from me, and causes a great deal of stress in my day.

What is it?

Worry.

You see,  I am a worry wart.

All of the time.

I worry about life. Mine. Yours. Ours.

I worry about my kids. Are they eating enough? Are they learning what is important in life? Am I doing enough to raise them to be good people? Are they focused in school? How can I help them be excellent students? Am I doing enough as their mother? Am I teaching them enough? Are they happy?

I worry about my husband. Is he happy? Is this what he thought his life would be? Is he feeling well today? Is his heart strong? Does he like his job? Does he still love being married?

I worry about money. Will we make it this month? Can we get a pizza for dinner tonight? How much will a new couch cost? Can we swing it before the end of the year? Do we really need it before the end of the year? How many pay days until Christmas?

I worry about my extended family. My mother, my in-laws, my sister and brother-in-law. My brothers and their families. Their health. Their jobs. Their challenges. Their happiness.

I worry about my house. The laundry. The pile of dishes that find themselves waiting quietly for me at the end of a busy day. The windows that need washing. The siding that could use a good cleaning. The lawn furniture that needs to be covered and moved aside before colder weather is upon us. I wish there were more hours of the day. But something tells me that if the days grew in time, I wouldn’t necessarily get more things done. I probably would just have more hours to worry.

Often I find myself driving down the road lost in the thoughts of my own worries. . . I know that it is happening, because when I glance up to check my rear view mirror, I catch a look of my own reflection and see that little wrinkle between my eyebrows starring right back at me. It's the worry wrinkle. I usually try and iron it down with my thumb. But them I'm just a strange lady driving with her thumb on her forehead.

What drives me really most crazy about the whole worrying thing, is that worrying really doesn't solve anything, does it? It certainly doesn't make anything easier.Worrying is exhausting. It takes up way too much energy and often leads to some really unproductive anxiety. Don't get me wrong, I do count my blessings . . . hourly. I am forever grateful for the good I’ve been given in this life of mine. But still, I worry.

However, I do remember a moment in time when I didn’t worry. I remember it very clearly. Our honeymoon. The wedding planning was over, the dress was hung up and put away, the big celebration had come to a close when PG and I hopped a plane to good ol’Key West, Florida. The minute we arrived, we were in our own little heaven. It was glorious. I remember lying at poolside one afternoon when PG looked at me and said, “Honey, you look so relaxed right now. What are you thinking about?” and I said, “Absolutely nothing.” And I remember him telling me that he had never seen me so relaxed and calm and at peace the whole entire time he had known me.

I long to find that place again.  While I know that I can't think of "nothing" very often, I sure wish I could find that peace inside.

Friday night, when my dear friend took my kids and told me to rest and "not to worry about anything", I found that place. It was wonderful. I like it there.

So, I’ve decided to start a new journey. A peaceful journey. As we approach the last two months of 2010, I am giving it up. My new motto? NO WORRIES. I think it's a great time of year to bring this to the front of my days, as the holiday season usually brings up a whole new set of worries. But this year, I'm taking a break from the worries.

Want to join me?

I think it’s going to be a wonderful time, don’t you? No Worries. At all.