40 Years - A Retrospect

When I was 5, I wanted to be a superhero. My favorite cartoons were The Flintstones and Tom and Jerry.  As the youngest of four children, I often felt like the shadow following along with the others. I adored my parents, and absolutely loved making stone soup in the puddles of our neighbors gravel driveway. My biggest worry was probably knowing that dinner would be ready soon and I'd have to stop playing the moment I was called inside to eat.

When I was 10, I wanted to be an artist. Each and every day I drew something. I also played softball like crazy. My biggest worry was probably wondering when my mom would finally let me wear blush (which would not be for at least four more years.) My sister was also heading off to college around this time, and I remember feeling like was losing my best friend (although I finally had a room all to myself.)

When I was 15, I wanted to be an actress. I was cast as "Miss Hannigan" in our high school spring Musical "Annie", and I had finally found my niche. I received a card from our school superintendent, telling me what a brilliant performance I had given, and I felt like a star. My biggest worry was probably if there would be a boy in high school who would ask me on a date.

When I was 20, I wanted to be an artist. Most of my clothing were in shades of black, and I lived my life based on the comings and goings of friends. I was heading off to a university after a couple of years at our community college, where I was very active in theater. I was not sure of my future and was not sure who I was, or who I wanted to be. My biggest worry was probably what I was going to do with my life.

When I was 25, I wanted to be independent. I moved out of my parents home, and wanted desperately to spread my wings. I worked full-time in the health care field, making a decision to pay the bills rather than follow my dreams. I dated, but not often, and my biggest worry was probably wondering if I would ever find someone to share my life with, who would love me as much as I loved them.

When I was 30, I wanted to be a mother. PG and I had been married for 3 years, and we were building a home. We were living the American dream . . . married with two incomes, traveling the country, buying cars (and things that we probably didn't need). My biggest worry was probably wondering if I would ever be blessed with children.

When I was 35, I wanted to be financially secure. After giving birth to our first daughter, and leaving my full-time job, I started to see the bank account dwindle. I learned what it was like to put my own needs and wants aside and give all that I have to this one little person. My biggest worry was probably figuring out how to do it all - mother and wife, yet still listen to my own inner whispers.

Photo from Google Image Search - source unknown

In a few weeks, I will be turning 40. At 40 . . . I am happy.  I watch just as much Tom and Jerry now, as I did when I was five. I am an artist every single time I create a scrapbook page, or pick up a paint brush while painting at the kitchen table with my daughters. I am an actress each and every time I play princess or have a tea party with them. I am independent, yet I am surrounded by a family who loves and supports me daily. For the first time in a long time, I can buy myself a caramel macchiato and not count my pennies when doing it. I am a mother, a wife, and still call my sister my best friend.



It's a fun exercise to look back at life and see where you have been, and how far you have come. I guess that is really the best gift I can give myself as I approach my 40th Birthday. That is - at 40, I can honestly say I am right where I want to be. I am living this life to the very best of my abilities, connecting with others, trying to make a difference (even if only to my daughters), and constantly counting my blessings. Yes, I think I'm just fine with turning 40. Because after these last 40 years - I can't wait to see where the next 40 will take me.

Yes, my friend, Life is Good.