A Daily Journey Word Update

I realized it's been quite a while since I've shared a photo with you of my daily journey. Here is a picture I took about a month ago that I forgot to post . . . spring was starting, the leaves were coming out from hiding and starting to show (my allergies were proof of it), and those cold bare branches were feeling good . . .

Today, I took this photo. Hard to believe in a few short weeks the trees have gotten so full . . .

As I drove to work this morning, I felt very peaceful and calm. The radio was off, the window was rolled down, and it was me and my mini-van - alone on this road. I pulled over to the side and could have sat there for hours. Unfortunately, I had to get to work. All of a sudden, I found this calm state I have been in such need of for the past weeks. I sat there listening to the sounds of birds in the trees,and the rustle of leaves moving in the wind. And I gave it all up. The worry. The anger. The fear. The "what ifs".

Seems like I've turned the page and started a new chapter in this life of mine, a new journey.

You see, I'm not completely certain - but I think a lot of it has to do with turning 40. I think I'm letting go, finally, of some things in life. I'm realizing the preciousness of me, and I'm listening to my inner whispers more and more each day. I care deeply for those who care back. In doing that, I've come to realize that I can no longer sacrifice my own happiness for the sake of others. Does that sound selfish? I don't mean it to. I think I am just tired. And I long for peace. So, I'm doing it. For me.

With this new state of mind, I think I need a new word to focus on.

Is that allowed? You know, the whole "Word of the Year" thing? Is it ok to change your word mid-year? Heck, why am I asking? There are no rules . . . of course I can change my word. So, here goes. In the beginning of 2011, my focus was on BELIEVE. And while I still believe in the word BELIEVE, I feel life right now has me looking in a different direction. Whatever it is, when I visited my friend Bev's blog this morning, it hit me like a brick . . .

sur-ren-der

transitive verb

1. a: to yield to the power, control, or possession of another upon compulsion or demand

    b: to give up completely or agree to forgo especially in favor of another

2. a: to give (oneself) up into the power of another

    b: to give (oneself) over to something (as an influence)

I surrender; to this amazing life I am living, to this life I have always dreamed of.
I surrender; to myself, to listening to myself, to believing in myself, to making myself happy.
I surrender; to laughter, to dreaming, to creating, to loving.
I surrender; to the God I believe in, to the family I love, to the children I adore, and to the amazing man I have married.

I surrender. Don't be mistaken - I am not giving up and I am not giving in. I am just finally letting go of a number of things that have taken up my energy. I surrender to what really matters, and I am not compromising myself and my state of mind any longer. It's refreshing. It's exhilarating. It's peaceful.

Have you ever done that? Surrendered and let go of the anger, the hurt, the worry? You know, today my dear blog friend Nicole wrote about starting a new BOOK in her life . . not a new chapter - but a new BOOK. I like that . . . I think that's a really awesome way to put it. And it helps me realize that I am not alone . . . that many of us are feeling similar feelings, even though our situations may be totally different. Amazing, isn't it, how the universe works?

Well, to Nicole . . . my dear, start that new book! I will be here, reading line by line, and wondering what my own book would look like, too. And to any others who may feel like this . . . consider starting your new book. Tell me about. I'd love to know if you feel the need right now. Or, maybe you just need a New Word for the remainder of the year. I sure do.

I have a feeling starting something new might be just what I need right now. And I feel like it's going to be a good. Really Good.