From Sunshine to Cookies to Not being Rotten

You know how you can say something over and over and you really believe, in your head, that you “get it”, but you really don’t “get it”?

You know how you can hear the words and think you can wrap your mind around it and absorb it and live it? But you really don’t?

You know what it’s like when you have that light bulb moment? Except it’s really more than a light bulb. It’s kind of like the sun is rising for the first time ever and you’re out there to see it, and all of a sudden that weight that has been sitting on your shoulders finally jumps off and you realize that you can see . . . really see . . . what is around you?

I’m feeling that today.

Because, honestly, for the very first time, I get it.

I can’t make everyone happy.

There. I said it.

And it’s ok.

Maybe it’s my whole new “surrender” feeling that I am focused on. But all of a sudden today, I feel like I get it. Really. And it’s good. It’s better than good. It’s. . . mind opening.

Kind of like . . . baking. I might bake you cookies - because you like cookies, and I want you to be happy. But if you aren’t going to be happy and really enjoy the cookies – there is nothing I can do. I can’t go back and bake you another batch of cookies, because chances are that second batch won’t make you any happier than the first batch. Right?

All I can do it bake you the cookies because 1) I like to bake, and 2) I like to share my cookies with you. But whether you really enjoy them or not, it’s not up to me. Whether you really receive them and accept them and enjoy them, or not – it’s ok. Maybe you have a cavity that is bothering you, and biting into those cookies might cause pain. I can’t be upset that you can’t enjoy them right now. The intention in which I made them is still the same. How you receive them is all that is different, and it is different because of what you have going on. Not because of me.

You mean, the world doesn’t revolve around me?

Gees, how did that happen? I thought is always did. ;)

So today, the sun came out. It shined down on me. And I received it. I surrender it. And I release it.

And I am not a rotten person. Realizing that I can not make everyone happy does not make me rotten.

I have to let that soak in. Because lately, I've been thinking I am rotten.

This is a pretty big lesson for someone like me to learn. I’ve spent most of my adult life trying to make people happy. Truly. And only recently have I learned that while I can still be a positive person, and still spread my joy where ever I can, I can’t make everyone happy. It does not mean that they love me any less. It does not mean that I am any less of a person. I must remain honest to the person I am but I can not be responsible for the person others are. AND . . . IT IS O.K.. Wow. 40 years. And now I get it.

I have a vision for an art journal that reflects this new lesson. I'm going to work on it tomorrow - and I can't wait to share it with you. In the meantime . . . I wonder, do you “get it”? I’d love to know . . .