Blessed with My Army

I'm feeling very blessed these days. Blessed to have a HUGE support system to help me when I'm feeling ragged and worn and tired. This motherhood thing sure isn't easy. I am often in awe of those women who make it look so darn easy. You know the kind; the women who always look perfect without a hair out of place, who have produced a large quantity of children who look equally as perfect, the women who seem to volunteer for everything and actually complete their tasks, have home cooked meals on the stove every night, and all the laudry caught up . . . all while working a full-time job.

Then . . . there is me.

I work only 20 hours a week. I have only two children (and have an army of help with them). I have a lovely lady come to my house every other week to clean it (and I'm telling you - I will continue to work - if only to continue paying for this service, I swear!). I have a husband who really is a hands-on father and helps as much as he possibly can. And yet I manage to be in a constant state of chaotic"ness" and look equally disheveled and disorganized. WHY?? Yesterday I had to take the girls to the Doctor. I sat in the waiting room and looked down at the mess of a shirt I had on and thought to myself, "Oh, honestly, Leanne. Couldn't you have fixed yourself up a little?" The honest to God truth was, though, that I was grateful we even GOT to the doctor. Seriously. I don't think I had an ounce of energy left to fix myself up. Again . . . I ask myself, What is the matter with ME?? Why can't I get a hang of this whole "Mom" thing?? Please, don't get me wrong . . . it is the best thing I have ever done. But I sometimes feel like I don't do it as well as I would like to.

Are those women who appear to have it all together REALLY all together? Seriously?

Anyway . . . back to feeling blessed.

I am all of this (disorganized, disheveled, chaotic, mess) . . . but have somehow, by the grace of God, surrounded myself with people (husband, sister, mother, mother-in-laws, friends) who love me for who I am, and do whatever they can to help me. And for this, I am eternally grateful. This week has been hectic - I'm still feeling some of that cold I was experiencing last week, and it has managed to kick me HARD. I've got a busy week next week and am already feeling a bit of anxiety towards it. I was off of work today, and planned on spending the day at home with Ella. My Mom called me at about 10AM and offered to come and pick up Ella and take her for a few hours, so I could get some rest. Honestly. I really do NOT have a rough life. And here was yet another moment when someone from my "army" called and offered help. (Blessings abound). I immediately took her up on the offer. And before I realized what was happening - Ellie was on an adventure with her Grandma (which Ella absolutely LOVES), and I was napping. Seriously.

I tell you this not to make you jealous. Chances are YOU are one of those women I am in awe of - who manage to do it all and make it all look so simple. YOU are amazing to me.

I tell you this to simply say . . . if you happen to be a part of my ARMY . . . THANK YOU, Again. I laid in bed this afternoon in a clean, quiet house, and said a small prayer. "Dear Lord, I am BLESSED. Thank you for giving me today and for the help you always provide." And I drifted off into a land far far away. And this evening, I prepared a home cooked meal for my family . . . and again counted my blessings.