Nothing But The Truth
What a week.
What an insane week.
A week that I am glad to put behind me.
A week that I have learned so much. Cried a lot. Laughed a little. And grown. As a Mom. As a person.
What a week.
I thought, very certainly, that I was not going to blog about this week, because I didn't think I would find humor in it - just yet. Here I am, Saturday morning, beginning to feel a little lighter about it -and realizing that I don't think I will be able to blog about anything ELSE, until I share this one with my therapist (my blog). I think the creative writing side of my brain is being stalled by this story, and it needs to come out.
So, here goes.
Week #2 of Katie at school. Actually . . . day #6 (to be even more specific.) Phil was home on Wednesday (thank goodness) and I was at work. My phone rang at my desk and I picked it up to hear Phil say, "Honey, I just hung up the phone after the most upsetting conversation with the Principal at Katie's school." Without even realizing what I was doing, I had turned my computer off, stood up at my desk, reached for my purse, turned off my desk light, and was ready to head out the door to home - because if it upset my husband . . . then it was bad. And I had to be there.
My Katie. My imaginative, story telling, dreamer of a daughter, who makes me laugh and inspires me daily, decided to tell a story at school. An untrue story, to make matters worse. Katie told the school nurse (who then told the social worker and Principal) that every morning her Mommy and Daddy leave to go to work and leave her (I'm adding in here . . . "a SIX YEAR OLD") to wake up all alone, wake up her baby sister, change her baby sisters diaper, get themselves both dressed, fix them breakfast, comb their hair, and then, Katie goes and walks herself to the bus stop, and gets on the bus for school. Again, I remind you, all ALONE. Seriously.
So, sparing you most of the detail, my husband and I spent a couple hours that afternoon explaining that this was completely, absurdly and utterly UNTRUE and that we would never and have never, under ANY circumstance, left our children alone and unattended. Convincing this new school that we weren't unfit. And that, actually, we ARE pretty good parents. Seriously.
Now, somewhere inside I can chuckle and realize that we will laugh about this. But this week . . . this week I felt . . . absolutely . . . awful. I felt like I failed. I felt that I did something wrong in raising this child. Why in Gods earth would she say that we left her alone? Now, my brain can rationalize all of this (she tells stories, she had a **new audience** who was very interested in what she was saying and that helped her imagination soar, she wanted them to see her as a BIG girl doing BIG GIRL things, and on and on and on.) But my heart . . . augh. The fact that Katie told a lie is one thing, the fact that this lie could jeopardize our family and the future of our family is just unbearable.
So, we have been spending a great deal of time in this house talking about TRUTH the past few days. The importance of it. The choices we have to tell the truth. The consequences that we can be faced with if we don't.
Does she get it? Well, I'm hopeful. But I don't know. I only know that we will continue to reinforce these things to her daily, hourly, by the second, until I fully believe that she understands. I've spent the past few days really thinking about how I've raised Katie. Have I done a good job of teaching her the difference between right and wrong? Have I encouraged her imagination too much? Then all of a sudden I remember the moment of this photo below. . . taken in August of 2004. She was just about 14 months old. We were exploring the flowers (and picture taking opportunities) at Pilcher Park near our house. I remember this exact moment when we looked up and could see the moon in the bright blue sky. It was so beautiful. I said, "Can you catch the moon? Catch it!" and Katie stretched her little arms up, believing that she could CATCH THE MOON! Phil snapped this picture of her, with her little arm stretched out reaching for it. I love this picture.
What an insane week.
A week that I am glad to put behind me.
A week that I have learned so much. Cried a lot. Laughed a little. And grown. As a Mom. As a person.
What a week.
I thought, very certainly, that I was not going to blog about this week, because I didn't think I would find humor in it - just yet. Here I am, Saturday morning, beginning to feel a little lighter about it -and realizing that I don't think I will be able to blog about anything ELSE, until I share this one with my therapist (my blog). I think the creative writing side of my brain is being stalled by this story, and it needs to come out.
So, here goes.
Week #2 of Katie at school. Actually . . . day #6 (to be even more specific.) Phil was home on Wednesday (thank goodness) and I was at work. My phone rang at my desk and I picked it up to hear Phil say, "Honey, I just hung up the phone after the most upsetting conversation with the Principal at Katie's school." Without even realizing what I was doing, I had turned my computer off, stood up at my desk, reached for my purse, turned off my desk light, and was ready to head out the door to home - because if it upset my husband . . . then it was bad. And I had to be there.
My Katie. My imaginative, story telling, dreamer of a daughter, who makes me laugh and inspires me daily, decided to tell a story at school. An untrue story, to make matters worse. Katie told the school nurse (who then told the social worker and Principal) that every morning her Mommy and Daddy leave to go to work and leave her (I'm adding in here . . . "a SIX YEAR OLD") to wake up all alone, wake up her baby sister, change her baby sisters diaper, get themselves both dressed, fix them breakfast, comb their hair, and then, Katie goes and walks herself to the bus stop, and gets on the bus for school. Again, I remind you, all ALONE. Seriously.
So, sparing you most of the detail, my husband and I spent a couple hours that afternoon explaining that this was completely, absurdly and utterly UNTRUE and that we would never and have never, under ANY circumstance, left our children alone and unattended. Convincing this new school that we weren't unfit. And that, actually, we ARE pretty good parents. Seriously.
Now, somewhere inside I can chuckle and realize that we will laugh about this. But this week . . . this week I felt . . . absolutely . . . awful. I felt like I failed. I felt that I did something wrong in raising this child. Why in Gods earth would she say that we left her alone? Now, my brain can rationalize all of this (she tells stories, she had a **new audience** who was very interested in what she was saying and that helped her imagination soar, she wanted them to see her as a BIG girl doing BIG GIRL things, and on and on and on.) But my heart . . . augh. The fact that Katie told a lie is one thing, the fact that this lie could jeopardize our family and the future of our family is just unbearable.
So, we have been spending a great deal of time in this house talking about TRUTH the past few days. The importance of it. The choices we have to tell the truth. The consequences that we can be faced with if we don't.
Does she get it? Well, I'm hopeful. But I don't know. I only know that we will continue to reinforce these things to her daily, hourly, by the second, until I fully believe that she understands. I've spent the past few days really thinking about how I've raised Katie. Have I done a good job of teaching her the difference between right and wrong? Have I encouraged her imagination too much? Then all of a sudden I remember the moment of this photo below. . . taken in August of 2004. She was just about 14 months old. We were exploring the flowers (and picture taking opportunities) at Pilcher Park near our house. I remember this exact moment when we looked up and could see the moon in the bright blue sky. It was so beautiful. I said, "Can you catch the moon? Catch it!" and Katie stretched her little arms up, believing that she could CATCH THE MOON! Phil snapped this picture of her, with her little arm stretched out reaching for it. I love this picture.
Just maybe . . . um . . . next time, not in front of the nurse, social worker and Principal.
Well, goodbye to the liar's dot!!! Ms. Katie has learned that storytelling is something people enjoy! If she's anything like her mom... :)
ReplyDeleteWe always survive these gasping moments that get thrown at us by our kids. And as they get older, we either get used to those moments so the gasps are not as deep or we just realize that they'll survive most of what they go through and it's not necessarily our place to "worry" about it.
As they say, Leanne, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. You entertain us with each blog, and she'll do the same with her tales. Thanks for sharing!!
Oh,my.
ReplyDeleteEven without my own children, I can imagine *how*incredibly*awful you must have felt. What a punch in the stomach!!!
I'm happy to know you're taking it in stride as much as possible ~ and using it as a learning opportunity for the oh-so-important subject of TRUTH.
And, yes, imagination, story-telling, fantasies...there's always room for those (too bad must of us lose that as we age, right?)...just not in that way, in that setting. Whew!
Hang it there!
Well Lee - I have to tell, sadly from experience!! That children dont fall far from the tree - as evidenced by your stories the rest of us love to read daily - your daughter is a story teller - just like mom - an entertainer, just like mom, and very good at it, just like mom! And while the truth can be evasive at her age, it is very much a grey area, it is a sign of her intelligence - she created a story to a group of adults and read their reactions quite well - Im sure the story became better and better the more she told it! She read their reactions and sought the attention. That is pretty brillant for a child! So dont read too much into it - "out of the mouths of babes" and all....this is what having children is all about - you never know what will happen next! And Im sure your school employees had a good laugh about it! When she is excepting her Emmy, you can tell Oprah this story!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, everyone, for your support, encouragement, and great stories in return. I do realize that Katie has inherited my story telling interest. And I'm proud to say that we have just finished week 4 of school, and I have not received any additional phone calls from the principal since the Day 6 call. (yea!!!) Katie has adjusted to school so well, and we continue to discuss truth in our house. I'm proud of her! And I THANK YOU ALL for the support you all gave me! I couldn't have made it through that week w/out you!!
ReplyDelete