What is in your box?

I have recently dusted off an old favorite book of mine written by the amazingly gifted storyteller and inspirational soul, Anne Lamott, called "Grace (Eventually): Thoughts on Faith". I'm sure you have heard of Anne Lamott. She is wise. She is deep. She is truly one of the most gifted writers I've ever had the privilege to read, and I find myself lost in the stories she tells and the lessons she shares. Her writing style is what I could only dream mine would be, and the inspiration in the words she puts together always leave me feeling at peace.

In this particular book, she brings up the whole subject of a "God Box". . . and years ago, when I first read her story, I quickly went to work coming up with my very own God Box. The concept behind the box is just as you would imagine: a dedicated box where you can write down your thoughts, names, or whatever it is that is troubling you in your life and put it in the God Box, as if you are routing it to the Big Man upstairs to do with what he may. (Here is a little post I found online, in her own words, about the whole idea, titled, "Sometimes We Need a Little Help from Upper Management." Seriously . . . isn't that great?)

I love everything about that whole concept, because I am a believer. I may not attend church weekly (I know, I really need to work on that.) I may not always preach the words of the Big Guy. But, I believe. I have to. It is what helps me make it through my darkest times. It is the life I try to live. It is the hope. The faith. The belief that if we live a life of "good", we will be rewarded in the end. We will all meet again. Yes, that's who I am.

So, this week I've been feeling a little melancholy (PG is leaving tomorrow for a long 3+ week business trip that will take him to 4 different states practically from coast to coast) and sorry for myself. I've been feeling jealous of people and what they have. Jealous of where they are in life. Angry that PG and I work so hard yet still struggle month to month. Let me tell you, I've been in need of "a little help from upper management". I pulled down Anne's book and started to read . . . and came to the God Box part. 

Hmmmmm . . . I had forgotten about that. I knew I had my very own "GB" somewhere. Where was it? So I went searching high and low through my dresser drawers and finally found it. My God Box.  Here is it . . .

This particular box was given to me as a gift from PG's Aunt Vicki, as she discovered her love of tile, beads and boxes about 5 years ago. The minute she gave it to me, I thought it would be a perfect little box for God. I said a few prayers and put in on my dresser, and I used it for quite a while. When life was hard and dark, when thoughts of happiness took a vacation and I found my head visiting Crankville, when I struggled with my relationships with people around me, I would simply write a little something on a small piece of paper, and put it in the box. Then I would say a prayer to the Big Man - asking for guidance and strength. And it always felt like the thing that bothered me would slowly be lifted from my thoughts, and peace would follow.

About a little over a year ago we were painting our bedroom, and all items on top of the dresser were put away for a short time. This box found itself into the back of my negligee drawer . . . and there it has been since that time (that tells ya how long it's been since I've dusted things out in that drawer!) Anyway, this week I found it and pulled it out and opened it up. To my surprise, there were two little pieces of paper inside . . .

So, I opened them. I was shocked to find that those two little pieces contained the words associated with the very same things that I am struggling with this week. How strange, isn't it? I mean - it's been a year, and still I am struggling with the same things, the same issues, the same people.

I don't know what this means - but I'm certain there is a lesson in there somewhere. There is some sort of message and meaning behind why these things still bother me. A reason why, a year later, I am no more at peace with these parts of my life that I was back then. So today, I am writing something else and putting it in my God Box. Today, just one word and one phrase. . .

Acceptance: the first step in healing

For the past year, I don't think I've ever accepted these things, these people, as they were. I looked to God to help me with my issues with them, but I never accepted. And today it hit me. For me to move on, I must accept.

Then, I can heal.

And soon I can put something else in my God Box.

So, what about you? Anything in your box lately? You don't have to share names or specifics, but I'm just really wondering if you had things in your life that you are working through - and how you go about doing that. Leave me a comment . . . I'd love to know.