From Chaos Comes Happiness

Yesterday, my Ella turned 4. Yes, 4! That's . . . 1 -2- 3 - 4 !!!!! There are no more baby bottles in our house. The crib has long been gone. I haven't seen a teething ring or squeaky toy on the floor in forever ... they have long been replaced with Polly Pockets and silly bands. And while I miss the smell of baby head, we still have the baby lotion on our dresser (and I'll gladly hold on to that a little bit longer!) I can't believe that it has been four years since this beautiful angel joined our family, and made us complete. She has brightened our lives beyond my wildest dreams, and continues to amaze us . . . and I am blessed. I'm also oh-so grateful that while she has grown and grown . . . she still needs me . . . especially when putting her footie pajamas on. And I need her . . . more than she will ever know. Happy Birthday my darling Ella!!!!

You know that saying, "Everything happens for a reason" ? I'm a firm believer in the message behind those words . . . and trust that if something is meant to happen, it will. If it's not, then it won't. I trust the powers that be in this life of mine, and have never been disappointed because of them. This week I've been struggling with blog writing, with a lack of positivity, and with over all gloominess. Not full blown "Crankville" . . . just feeling like a wet wash rag that has been rung out and is left shriveled up and dry. I've felt that I didn't have a single encouraging or positive thought to write, and that I was done with blogging. I felt that I couldn't keep up with life in our home, and that everything was like one step forward . . . twenty steps back. The demands of my job have caught up with me, and I just feel used up. It's a icky position to find myself in, when I often try so hard to live in positivity. But, it'...

Hello dear blog friends! Just a quick post to let you know that I am alive and well . . . and thinking of all of you. It’s been an absolutely hectic week in our “Happy Chaos” home, and the ability to blog has taken a back seat. But happy thoughts of each of you and your lives have filled much of my quiet time, and good wishes to all usually follow. Seems like that darn thing called life is keeping me swamped these days. PG has been in and out of town, and while that usually allows plenty of “me” (aka BLOG) time after the girls are in bed, this week a lousy head cold has taken up every ounce of energy. Worse yet, my brain is on vacation – and the ability to create in any form (tactile or written) has left with it. I’ve had witty and clever topics come to mind, and have often thought, “Ooooo, I should really blog about this.” But most of the subjects would come up at the most inopportune moments (like, while stopping off at a Gas City to for a POTTY EMERGENCY with Ella while running...

In my next life, I'm going to be a chef. I'm going to create beautiful masterpieces in the culinary world, and be seen on shows like Top Chef , or Iron Chef America . I am amazed at what comes out of those shows - and how fast they work and create these dishes . . . really . . . it's a work of culinary art. Yep, I think that is what I will do. Or maybe be a " Real Housewives . . ." lady (because, I guess what I'm living is not 'real' enough.) I'd love to know for one brief second how it would feel to not worry about money - or perhaps how it might feel to walk in a store and buy something without evening looking at the checkbook. Yes, I think that is what I will do. Maybe I just want to be a reality T.V. star. PG would most enjoy having a camera follow him around day in and day out. Lordy, would I be fearful of what that show would be called . . . perhaps, "Those are the Toots of our Lives" or something like that. (bah-dum-dum) I ...

. . .  my shadow.  I haven't seen it in a while, but yesterday afternoon it surfaced. All thanks to this little beauty in the sky . . .    I stood in my driveway for 10 minutes,  soaking in the rays.  I'm sure, if one of my neighbors saw me from their window, they would have thought I finally lost my marbles. Little did they know, I was finding them. Nothing like a little sunshine to warm the soul.   PG returned last night. And I'm taking a few days break from blogland, as I relish in the joy of my family and sunshine. My two favorite things. I'll be back some time this weekend, love!

Yesterday was a challenging day at work . . . not home. Home was great. Work, stressful. We all have days like that, I know. Yesterday was mine. I had to pick the girls up from my Mom's after work, which allowed me a little more time in the car. Since my home is just about 10 minutes from my office, I don't mind the extra quiet car time. And yesterday, I used it well. Yes, time for another Random Thinking Moment. I haven't had many of these lately . . . must mean I'm not "thinking" very often. But yesterday was a good one. After all the stress of the day, the words, "There has GOT to be a better way" kept popping up into my head. So, I decided that I need to start a business. But not by myself ... nope ... I think my sister, my dear friend 2E, and I should start a business. Yep. Because I think the three of us could really do it. Oh, wait. What about PK .... she's a genius. We'll definitely need her expertise. Oh, then how about ...

I was totally surprised when my blog friend Jules from " Ad Bits " comment yesterday that she wasn't surprised I was a little gloomy, as researchers have said that the third Monday after the New Year is historically the "saddest day of the year". Seriously? Not that I ever thought for a minute that my dear friend would steer me wrong . . . but I googled it. And can you believe it . . . there is lots about it. It's also referred to as Blue Monday , the third Monday after the New Year, when the hustle and bustle of the holiday season is over and we are left with some sort of philosophical equation to support our woes.  If I would have read about this last week, I would thought it was a bunch of malarkey. But I wonder why it is that I felt so gray yesterday? Can there be some truth to it?  How did YOU feel? I will say that, aside from waking up with a head cold (yes, I felt that coming on yesterday - and it has kicked...

The days have been cold, wet, gray and so so gloomy lately. I think the winter blues have settled into this otherwise cheery head of mine. It's oh-so cold, and I can't seem to get warm enough. Could I be fighting something????? Oh, pray tell, NO! Now is NOT the week to come down with something . . . PG returns home on Wednesday (wahoooo!!!). . . and with his return, I'm sure the sunshine will follow. Then Friday night, I am heading out for some creative rejuvenating with these lovely ladies . . . Aren't they gorgeous? My Scrapbook Cellar Girls . . . we haven't been together since early December, and we are gathering on Friday evening (for laughter and tears, of course, because there are always a few tears shed each gathering! But those are "good" tears. You know, the healing kind.) I  NEED  to create . . . and can't WAIT!!! What about you? What do you do to fill your soul? I'd love to know . . .

In addition to my word of "Believe" this year, I'm trying very hard to organize a few things in my life,like: me our kids lives and schedules our bills our home (i.e., cabinets, drawers, closets, photo albums, laundry room, pantry, um. . . pretty much every part of it.) It's a big ol'pain in the tuckus, but a necessity. The driving force behind it all is one simple question that I ask myself, "What would Martha Stewart think if she opened this cabinet {closet, drawer, whatever it may be}?"   But you know, organizing this house is not as easy as it sounds. I often wish I had some magical powers where I could stretch my arms out and expand each cabinet just a few more inches, or each room just a few more feet, just so I could have a little more space. I love my house, I really really do. And I don't really dream of owning a big ol'mansion any point in this life of mine. But a few more feet here or there would be so lovely. ...

There has been a dark, ugly, stormy cloud over many blogland friends this week. I seem to have come across post after post of heart breaking news that many in our blogland community are dealing with, specifically some really tragic  unexpected loses of spouses, siblings and parents.  2011 is starting as a year full of horrific times for so many. While I spend my quiet time reflecting on the friends whose lives have been drastically changed, I am reminded of the blessings in my life. Today I thought I would participate in "Maxabella Loves..."   wonderful weekly gratitude post . . . This week, I am grateful for . . . My Sister: I have to say that this week, like so many many weeks before, I am grateful for my sister, Laura. You may know her from her blog " The Adventures of Mr. CT and Me ." My sister is my rock, my cheerleader, my supporter, my confidant, my personal shopper, my nanny, my encourager, my reminder, my comedian, and above all else, my friend. ...

I must be a bad mother. I must be a bad wife. Yes, that must be it. When I tell you my plans for Sunday night, you might agree. You see, I love and adore my children. I love them with my whole being. And I love and adore my husband, with every ounce of love that I've got. But, I'm counting down the days . . . the hours . . . the minutes . . . the seconds . . . for Sunday night. You see, PG is out of town until the 19th. And Sunday night, Ellie and Katie are going to sleep over at their dearest Auntie and Uncles house (praise the Lord!) And me? Well, I have . . . a date . Yes, I do. A date, with this ... and this ... and maybe even a little of this ... All by my lonesome. And I can't stop thinking about it, or talking about it, or dreaming about it. I mean . . . it's what is keeping me going this crazy busy week. I mean, look at it again . . . doesn't it look like the perfect way to spend an evening alone? Is it wro...

Well, well, dear blog friends! How is your week? Me? I'm good . . . busy . . . focused . . . and good. PG has been gone for 4 days, and I must say that the ladies I share my house with (Ella and Katie) are being VERY GOOD and keeping Mommy (Me) great company in Daddy's absence. We've had volleyball, homework, friends, and all the other little things that keep us busy doing just that . . . and life is good. Loved hearing all of your "stalking" stories (comments) on my last post! So glad that I'm not alone!!! Turns out that telling you my deepest darkest stalking story wasn't enough Leanne info for all of you. Well, that is, for ONE of you. Dear Saimi over at " Archie and Family " has tagged me with some fancy questions to figure out how this brain ticks . . . Thanks, Saimi!!! SO, let us begin . . . 1. if you have pets, do you see them as merely animals, or are they members of your family? Ok, I'm sure I'm going to loose some friends...

While recently exchanging emails with my friend and fellow blogger Nicole , a memory of my youth came to mind that made me chuckle. It was when Nicole wrote, “promise me, we won’t go on a stalking spree” that I had a flashback - pizza and records and John Tesh came to my mind. A moment from my past when I exuded a behavior I would now consider to be in such bad taste and serious loser-ness, that of course I must share it with you. Yes, my friends, I once stalked. Now, before you call the authorities on me, or send an anonymous email to PG warning him of my troubled past, let me set the scene for you. The year was 1987, when big mall hair with banana clips, swatch watches and cavaricci pants were all the fad. I was 16 years old, and a junior in high school. And I was in love. I mean, SERIOUSLY.in.love, with the man who worked at Coconuts Music Store on the corner of 95th Street and Ridgeland Avenue. Yes. Love. Howev...

As PG packed for his business trip this morning, I overheard the funniest conversation between him and Ella. It went something like this . . . PG : Ella, do you like Daddy's new pants?   Ella : Ummmm . . . . they're silly. PG : Silly? Ella : uh-huh. PG : Silly? Ella : Yep. They look silly. PG : Hey, Ella? Ella : Yes? PG : Have you seen your pants today?  Photo of Ella today . . . . with her silly pants. Hope you're having a wonderful Silly Sunday, dear friends!

Have you seen the latest? No? Don't worry. I hadn't either. That is . . . until recently, when Katie came home from school and declared, "Mom, we need to go buy some duck tape!" "Duct tape," I corrected her, "and why do you want to buy some of it?" You see, I know  all about duct tape. Yes, I do. ALL about it. I happen to have been raised in a house with the KING of all things duct and taped. Oh, yes I was.  My father. When something broke, my Dad had just the thing to fix it ... duct tape. And it looked something like this . . . According to Wikipedia , duct tape was "originally developed during World War II in 1942 as a water resistant sealing tape for ammunition cases. Permacel, then a division of Johnson & Johnson, used a rubber-based adhesive to help the tape resist water and a fabric backing to add strength. It was also used to repair military equipment quickly, including jeeps, firearms, and aircraf...

 Two weeks ago, I enrolled Ella in a Twinkling Ballerina class. Then last week, PG and I went and saw " Black Swan " , and I wasn't so sure I wanted Ella to take ballet afterall.  But this week, my littlest Ballerina emerged. And she is . . . beautiful. "Dance is the hidden language of the soul" -Martha Graham

Feeling a little . . . unsettled today. Not completely sure why. PG is leaving for his next trip on Sunday - he's been home for weeks now, and it's been so nice. I'm already feeling a little anxiety over the days when he'll be gone. 15 out of 20 from January 9th through the 29th. Augh. I'm so blessed, I know. I'm blessed that we are employed. I'm blessed we have a home. I'm blessed that he isn't in a field that has him away even longer than that. I am blessed. I know. But I still am feeling . . . heavy in my chest. Like I can't catch a breath. So many things I want to accomplish in the New Year . . . I love how the New Year allows you to refocus, don't you? But I think I'm putting too much pressure on myself, already . . . That's not good. It's January 5th, for Pete's sake. Pressure already? Ella starts ballet today. Katie starts volleyball next week. School. Religious education. Oh, and work. Home. Laundry. Ho...

I have to brag a little. I have to brag because if you know me, you would know that I deserve to brag for this one. I have to brag because, my friends,  I am getting my s*** together in the New Year ! Yes, I am! (Sorry . . . there just isn't any better way to put it than that way.) You see, I am disorganized. Ok . . . not disorganized . . . I mean, I understand where things are and why. Let me put it another way, as my dear blogfriend Doris has brilliantly named her blog, I am " Organized Chaos ". Or, something like that. Whatever it is, I'm not totally proud of it. And it has made for a really stressful and hard time keeping track of the comings and goings of our house between the girls, PG and myself. I seem to always be a day late (and a dollar short) for everything. So, one of my additional goals for 2011 is to be a little more organized in my chaos . And, friends . . . it's going to be fab-U-lous! Absolutely FAB-U-L...

Very early on in my marriage to PG, I realized something rather important - and something that has probably saved us from hundreds of senseless arguments in our home . . . that lesson is that sometimes "not knowing" is best for me, and I must trust, and let go. This is especially true when it comes to the electronics of our house. You see, I am not an electronic person.  Not at all. And PG, well, he is a genius. Seriously. I wouldn't know the difference between a subWOOfer, which I like to pronounce it with emphasis on the WOO, ;), to  any other part of a speaker system. To me, it's just a black box with a hole in it from which sounds comes. That's it. And Blue Ray? Poor PG gets SO MAD at me when I say I don't see the difference. So, every once in a while I need to give up, "not know", trust, and let go. But that is not always an easy thing to do. You see, sometimes "not knowing" means that your husband may head to the basement an...