There is Sun

        

I'm feeling a bit off this past week or so. Scattered. Unfocused. Anxious. Uninspired. Worried. Unmotivated. Full of doubt. With all of those feelings, there comes a major lack of creativity. major. 

This is so NOT in the plan. 

I think it's the weather. The cold. The piles and piles of snow. I am blessed that I don't have to go out of the house to a job each and everyday to fight through the temperatures and the mounds of white stuff all over. But with that comes a bit of that "stuck at home" feeling, and somedays I hate it. 

I have these pieces of paper all over, sketchbooks and doodles, inspiring thoughts and quotes that someday should be on a canvas . . . I look at them scattered on my table and try to muster up the courage to put them into some art . . . but just can't. 

I'm not there. 

And it's frustrating. 

Call it a creative block. Call it winter blues. Whatever you call it . . . just send some happy thoughts my way, and kindly ask it to leave. 

I'm forcing myself to exercise each day . . . riding my exercise bike between 1 to 5 miles each morning. I'm making a conscious effort to lower my sugar intake, as I know sugar effects my overall mood. I'm even cutting down my coffee to only one cup a day (where I was easily a three cup drinker). Trying to pin point what it is that is pulling me from being centered. 

Last night, Katie said, "Mom . . . I don't like when you have that worried look on your face. It makes me sad." 

I didn't realize I was wearing it on my face, but clearly I am. I love the honesty that a child can bring to you. Up front and center. Deal with it. 

"I'm sorry, honey," I told her. "Mommy is just fine." 

And I am. I know I am. 

I think. ;)

I'm hanging with a couple of my soul sisters on Saturday, and have plans for dinner with three more next week. I think I need them a lot more than they know. Sometimes I feel it is unfair - how much I pull from them. I wonder if they get anything back from me, in return. 

Maybe I need to keep the focus on that . . . . moments of truth. And gratitude for them. 

The sun is coming out right now. It's a fridged 2 degrees out today. But, there is sun. It looks warm, welcoming, bright and alive.

I think I need to stand in it. Close my eyes and face it. Just to feel it. 

Yes, because even in darkness . . . there is sun. 

Wishing you Peace, my friends. 

Xo