From Chaos Comes Happiness

My dearest friend Kathleen and I talked last night about Faith. First, while talking on the phone, then continuing our thoughts through text as more things came to our minds on the subject. My friend has always been one of the most faithful individuals in my life. For 40 years, she has been in my life . . . and for 40 years I have admired the constant presence God has had in hers. I have spent a great part of these 40 years trying to learn from her, to follow her examples, to trust, to pray, to do all those things people of great faith do. Some times I have been successful at it. Other times, not so much. She told me last night, as she has told me many times the past few months, "I pray for you everyday... so when you can't pray, I am praying for you." That is a beautiful friend. But, I am trying. I am trying to find my faith. Truly, I am. But the sadness I have been feeling seems greater each day, instead of less. I keep thinking - maybe I am doing somethin...

This popped up on my Facebook feed the other day. I sat and read the words over and over.  That is true, right? I looked it up . . . just to make sure.  Nope . . . nothing in the definition of "broken" suggests, to me  , that something can be fixed.  Well, that sort of sucks.  I am trying, anyway. To be fixed.  It is hard.  Phil took me away for a few days. He had to visit Miami Beach for work (rough, I know. Especially in the middle of January.) He convinced to me tag along and try to get some rest - to try and clear my mind and sooth my soul. I am so grateful for the opportunity to do that. To just . . . BE.  But sometimes "BEing" can be really, really difficult.  The weather was gorgeous. The drinks were plentiful.    The beach was truly . . . breathtaking.  And my soul . . . my soul rested.  But sometimes . . . when your heart is broken . ....

Well . . . how do you do, dear friend? I am here. My blog. (insert  . . . . HUGE sigh). 2017 was the last time I visited this space in the universe. Sitting here right now, I feel completely lost. Like, I have no idea who the person was who used to write and share thoughts in this online journal of sorts. Although I am still me ( in some regards) . . . in others, I am completely different. I knew it was time to return to the Land of Blog because this blog has always been my therapy. And my friends, I am in need of it. My safe place. My safe place space to cry. My safe place to write. My safe place to share.  Friends, I have a lot to share. A lot of it is good. And some of it . . . is not. The 'not' is where my head is right now . . . where my soul is. My sister. My sister left this world on December 17th. She was diagnosed with a rare and rather agressive form of cancer. She passed 4 weeks after her diagnosis. And my heart is broken. So, I am back. I ...

Oh, my.    ( l   o   n    g          p  a  u  s  e ) Blogger. Blogspot. From Chaos Comes Happiness. Just saying those words brings up a lump in the back of my throat. From Chaos . . . . Come Happiness.  Wow. As I pulled out of my driveway this morning, I noticed how absolutely gorgeous the tree in our parkway looked. I paused for a minute and watched as a cool wind caused leaves to drop one after another, and thought to myself, "that tree isn't going to look the same when I come home 6 hours from now. Years ago, I would stop and take a photo of this tree . . . and I would share it on my blog . . . I should do that today."  So, I did. I stopped the car right there on the street in front of our home, put it in park, and hopped out to take a photo of our tree. And I took another. And another. Then I called Phil, who was inside working at the kitchen table, and asked him to...

I am so very blessed for this life I am living. For this sometimes stressful, sometimes frustrating, sometimes exhausting, sometimes aggravating, but 100% blessed life. Because even when the going gets tough . . . and yep, sometimes it does get tough . . . I still know how damn great I've got it. And this year, I am trying to do it as often as possible - trying to take those moments, the Thankful and Grateful Moments, and soak them up. Because I have many of them. Tonight, I am sitting at my computer looking through the photo from a recent trip we took to this January to Puerto Rico. I decided to get back to good ol'fashioned scrapbooking and want to start with this vacation, and sitting here looking at these photos - I am feeling my heart swell with gratitude for this trip. I would love to share a little bit of it with you. Like, this view . . . right here . . . Sometimes you see something and you think, "this can't be real" - almost like there ...

It's 3:30AM, and I am wide awake. The hubby is half way through a long business trip. The wind outside is heavy - with the vibration of the siding along the bedroom wall being so strong right now, I become more and more awake with each rattle. Ella lays next to me, deep asleep. I know it is not a good idea to let her continue to lay with me at night when daddy is out of town, but I have to admit - the company warms my heart. Although, tonight I envy her sleep. I have been doing better with my sleep in recent weeks . . . my dear friend Peggy gave me an essential oil diffuser at Christmas, with a wonderful sampling of some lovely oils that have helped me find peace each night. I created a little "intention corner" in our bedroom ( ok - it's really my night stand with a few little nic-nacs, but i think 'intention corner' sounds fancier, don't you? ) I do find myself taking a few minutes each night to enjoy the space - reflect - relax - breath - all t...

A friend of mine posted this quote on Facebook this week, and the moment I read it - it was as if a stadium of people stood up in my head and cheered, " YES !" and " THIS !" and " BRAVOOO !", each exclamation repeating over and over in my head as I read and re-read the quote all week long. Written by the  most brilliant and giftedly insightful Anne Lamott, it sort of became my instant mantra . . . so much so, that I immediately shared it with my Facebook friends.   I can imagine a large art piece with this very quote hanging on a wall in our home. . . not that I want to entertain visitors with thoughts of my jiggly thighs or comfortable tummy . . . but because the meaning behind it all is so damn near perfect. "Don't let that happen," she tells us. "Don't forget to live that big, juicy, creative life." YES!! I think it is so fitting for me right now, because at some point during the last year - I thin...