From Chaos Comes Happiness

My dearest friend Kathleen and I talked last night about Faith. First, while talking on the phone, then continuing our thoughts through text as more things came to our minds on the subject. My friend has always been one of the most faithful individuals in my life. For 40 years, she has been in my life . . . and for 40 years I have admired the constant presence God has had in hers. I have spent a great part of these 40 years trying to learn from her, to follow her examples, to trust, to pray, to do all those things people of great faith do. Some times I have been successful at it. Other times, not so much. She told me last night, as she has told me many times the past few months, "I pray for you everyday... so when you can't pray, I am praying for you." That is a beautiful friend. But, I am trying. I am trying to find my faith. Truly, I am. But the sadness I have been feeling seems greater each day, instead of less. I keep thinking - maybe I am doing somethin...

"Have you ever seen God?" she asked.  This is Ella. The old-soul, youngest daughter, deep thinker, sensitive hearted, love of my life.  And sometimes she asks me those questions when I am not totally in the right frame of mind. Like this morning, as I was making her lunch and watching the clock, urging her to brush her teeth, pack up her backpack, trying to get her to comb her hair and make it to the corner before the bus was scheduled to arrive . . . in about five minutes.  I think to myself, "quick . . . what was it I read in that book years ago on answering the tough questions? What would our Religious Ed Director say? How should I answer this with the softness that she needs, in a way that would fill her soul in faith?"  "Well," I start . . . turning off the kitchen faucet and drying my hands, facing her - so she knows that this is a serious reply to a pretty serious inquiry. "I do see Him . . . I saw Him the moment I met you, when the doctor han...