From Chaos Comes Happiness

It's a crazy kind of world right now. Crazy. I last wrote in April. It is now May (just two days away from June). We are still doing social distancing due to the Covid19 pandemic that has taken over our world this year. But we slowly . . .   slowly . . . are moving back to some sort of normal living. Or, I guess I should say towards a new way of living. A new normal. And I think I am afraid. I mean, I am ready for it. Of course. Aren't we all? But there is a strange comfort that has taken over in the past two months. And the future is still this crazy land of unknowing. A land of unclear circumstances and a different world than it was 3 months ago. Boy oh boy - is it ever. Phil is still on reduced hours and salary. Working only two days a week and receiving 40% of his pay. It has been a really difficult time for him. Anxiety is high. Patience is low. Being unclear on the future of your career is a pretty scary scenario. He has found a few projects here or there aroun...

                  My throat is killing me tonight. Absolutely killing me.  I've been fighting this thing for a whole week. Last Saturday, I saw a doctor and was told I had an ear infection, upper respiratory infection, sinus infection, bronchitis, and a bad cold and cough (I think I told her those last two things.)  I left the visit with a bag full of medicines, and the advice to get as much rest as I could. Antibiotic, cough syrup with codeine, inhaler, nasal spray, and some other cough tablet. The whole kit and kaboodle. And for the past 7 days, I have taken - faithfully - everything prescribed. Followed doctors orders exactly as they were set out for me.  And I am not feeling much better. A little, yes. But not as much as I expected to be feeling, one week later.  In fact this evening, as we sat at the birthday party for a friends daughter, I told Phil that I felt like my throat was getting sore all over again. Again. T...

                       So, I'm am ALL into Art Journaling lately.  It makes my heART feel happy.  And I love the play on words - the  heart and art . They truly are the perfect combination for me.  I am a great admirer of those who pour their creative words and creative selves onto the pages of a sketch book. I could spend hours on Pinterest looking at one image or another of someones art journals. And sometimes, I do just that (spend hours on Pinterest). It fills my creative pitcher, and sometimes - it is exactly what I need.  I bought a new sketch book strictly for my Art Journaling. This will not be one full of doodles or zentangles, like my other sketch books. This won't all be happy and sappy. The main purpose of this one will be to art journal . In the coming weeks I hope to share many of my new creations with you here.  But . . . I must preface this by saying the followi...

Oh, my friends. . . . I'm good. I really, really am. I received two emails, two texts, and three phone calls after my last blog post. Worried, concerned, and just letting me know they were there . . . these simple messages from friends and loved ones once again reminded me that I am not alone. Even when I feel a little blue . . . I am the furthest from alone. And the support I have around me is unending. Thank you. So, I'm feeling better. I'm throwing myself back into this creative life - full force. Preparing for a Holiday Open House I am having at my home on the 30th of this month, and trying to keep focused on my long term goals. What are those long term goals? I desperately do not want to return to a life in an office talking health insurance. I want, so very much , to keep forging ahead in my creative life. And I am going to do whatever I can to do just that. I do have plans, ideas, money making thoughts. So for now, I'm focused on that side of my li...

Oh, the ups and downs. The blues. The dumps. Whatever it is. I'm fighting them. Big time. It's sort of crazy - the emotional state of my creative soul. Up and down . . . feels like one heck of a roller coaster. Am I an artist? Can I do this? Can I make it? What is "making it"? How long can I keep this up? When will I be able to contribute regularly to our family? Will I ever be able to? Is it time to get back to work? Like . . . the kind real work that I used to do? Oh, I feel like I'm on one heck of a roller coaster these days. Up and down . . . and up again. I remember . . . way back when . . . that I used to come to my blog when I found myself in this state of mind. Write it out. The cheapest and most effective form of therapy for me. So, here I am. Putting it out there. Do with it what you will, Universe. Because, like all that I've said before . . . it's me. And it's real. Yes, I've found myself questioning what I am doing, ...

Boy, have I been messed up lately. A hot mess, actually. Not the hot mess like I was when I was sick last month. ( Remember ?) No, this is just the normal hot mess me. Does that make sense? So incredibly cranky. Tired. Frustrated. Lonely. Bored. Exhausted. (Is it even possible to be both bored yet exhausted at the same time?) Hot. Short-tempered. Irritated. Ignored. Defensive. Just a whole bunch of nasty negatives . . . blah. blah. blah. I don't like the person I've been. I've been bothered by things others have said months ago, and can't seem to get past it. My defenses are up - the mortar on my brick wall has long dried, and I have no desire to take it down. I've got 0% creative ideas these days, I'm bummed that enrollment for my classes hasn't totally taken off, and the thought of even going away for a few days has me anxiety ridden at the thought of spending too much of the money our family needs to survive right now. I don't feel ...

Once upon a time there was a little girl . . . who had a dream. It wasn't to be a princess. It wasn't to be rich. It wasn't even to be beautiful. But it was a dream . . . her dream . . . none the less. She was a raised in a house full of realists, not dreamers, and she quickly realized how hard it was to be a dreamer in a non-dreamer world. As the years went on, her dream fell further and further down the dream ladder as more  realistic  dreams suddenly made way to the top. Those realistic dreams came true . . . every last one of them. And the girl was happy. Very happy. Then one day, someone reminded her of the little dream she had, so many years ago. And they told her . . . she could do it. And they believed. That's all it took. Was for one person, to believe. And while it may not be a big deal to the realists in her life, the dreamer . . . was flying high. Flourish, my friends. Flourish. And flourish, we shall! Are you a dreamer? Or a rea...

Garbage Day. My favorite day of the week. I love it. Seriously. I want to get a t-shirt that reads "I 'heart'  Garbage Day!", but I'm afraid people will think I'm one of those hoarders who drives through the town picking up items left curbside, as they wait for the big green truck to take them away. Not that there is anything wrong with that . . . (OK, there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with that). I promise I am not one of those types. But, I am loving Garbage Day for a whole new reason this year . You see, I am de-cluttering. I'm giving it up. I'm letting go. I'm throwing it away. Nothing of value, I promise. I'm talking about all the mounds of other things that have fogged up my brain (and home) for the past 10 years. The scrap pieces of scrapbook paper that I kept because "you never know when your going to need a 2" x 2" piece of red polka dot paper" , and the thousands of little notebooks that the girls scrib...

. . . hearing the doorbell ring, and hearing the engine of the UPS truck pull away as you open the door and find it sitting there . . . waiting. A brown box. Some can be little. Some can be big. Just depends on the goodies you're expecting. Whatever it is, knowing that the box is from  Blick , it's just about all that matters. Nothing is wonderful as that. The box I received this week contained some new palette paper, a whole set of Mod Podge (matte, sparkle, glossy, outdoors and paper varieties), 50 small 4x4 canvas boards, and 25 assorted paper mache boxes. Yes . . . these. What, pray tell, am I going to do with 25 assorted paper mache boxes? Oh, wouldn't YOU like to know?!? ;)  Oh, I've got some ideas . . . some visions . . . some wheels that are turning. You're going to have to hang in there to see. So, I'm getting busy in my studio, again. I've signed up for another craft fair on November 10th, and I have lots to do to prepare for it. In a...

You know it's been a while since you've blogged when you go to sign into blogger, and actually have to THINK about the user name and password you are entering to get into your blog. Yes, that's me. I've been an absent blogger. I learned a long time ago that the key to a successful blog is consistency. Consistency in blogging. Consistency in reading other blogs. Consistency in leaving comments on other blogs. Consistency. Consistency. Consistency. I haven't been very consistent. For that, I apologize. If you are still here and still reading this post, then I say, "THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart!" And here's something else for you . . . I miss you. I miss writing. I miss sharing my daily stories and my journeys and my art and my life. I miss gathering my thoughts and putting them out here for all to read (or at least the 180 so followers I have.) I always have ideas to write about, you know? Usually when I'm driving in my car, ...

I think I need snow. Or warmer weather. Kind of silly, isn't it? To wish for snow in one breath, and then warmer weather in another. It's been unseasonably lovely here in Chicago this week. But I think this whole loveliness outside has my psyche in a tither. At this point in the season, I'm usually hybernating. Locked up, shades down, fireplace on . . . settling in for a *long*winters*night. It was 55 degrees outside today. I should be happy. Right? But, I'm lost. I just sat down and read my dear friend Leslie's blog today . . . so inspiring, so motivating, so full of energy. I LOVE IT. Yet, I feel like I'm so far from that place . . . I've hit Funkytown, folks. You know Funkytown, right? It's right next to Crankville . Ah, Crankville . . . remember Crankville?  Oh, the good ol'blog days , huh? Well, Funkytown is right next to Crankville. And it's a completely different place. It's not that "cranky" state of mind. ...

Found from Google image search.  'Tis the season, my friends, for our annual neighborhood garage sale!!! It's amazing to me how year after year I plan, with great anticipation, for this day. Not that I am trying to make a lot of money . . . but it's the whole purging and simplifying part that goes with it that I enjoy. Yet when the weekend comes, I lose my steam. I'm ready to give up the thought of looking through another box in our basement, and long for it all to be over. It's Garage Sale Time! It seems every year we have one or two items (usually larger furniture pieces) that we are focused on really getting rid of. Usually it's because of their large size and our lack of energy in transporting them to Goodwill that brings out that major "car salesman" role in me. If someone can take it off our hands and find a good use for it - the AMEN! And if you can't take it off our hands . . . stick with me and I'll have you thinking you ...

I've been saying that prayer a lot lately. It kind of keeps me in check. Reminds me that I can't fix everything. Allows to me accept things as they are. It really does bring a sense of peace into my soul . . . gees, I guess that whole "Serenity Prayer" title is for real, huh? Serenity. I long for that in life right now. Believe. Remember that Word of the Year thing that I do? I had kind of forgotten about it. My word for 2011 was Believe. Lately I can't even remember what it was I was trying to believe back in January. Right now, I feel like I'm trying to survive. be•lieve verb \ be•lieved be•liev•ing   1 a : to have a firm religious faith b : to accept something as true, genuine, or real 2: to have a firm conviction as to the goodness, efficacy, or ability of something 3: to hold an opinion : THINK se•ren•i•ty noun \ suh - ren -i-tee 1 : The state of being calm, peaceful and untroubled    I'm going away for a few days, my...

Well, well, dear blog friends! How is your week? Me? I'm good . . . busy . . . focused . . . and good. PG has been gone for 4 days, and I must say that the ladies I share my house with (Ella and Katie) are being VERY GOOD and keeping Mommy (Me) great company in Daddy's absence. We've had volleyball, homework, friends, and all the other little things that keep us busy doing just that . . . and life is good. Loved hearing all of your "stalking" stories (comments) on my last post! So glad that I'm not alone!!! Turns out that telling you my deepest darkest stalking story wasn't enough Leanne info for all of you. Well, that is, for ONE of you. Dear Saimi over at " Archie and Family " has tagged me with some fancy questions to figure out how this brain ticks . . . Thanks, Saimi!!! SO, let us begin . . . 1. if you have pets, do you see them as merely animals, or are they members of your family? Ok, I'm sure I'm going to loose some friends...

My dear, dear friends . . . I'm drained. Photo from Google image search of "Maverick" roller coaster in Cedar Point. I'm tired. I'm stressed. I'm stuffy (my head and chest). I'm cranky.  I'm feeling like all of life around me just jumped on a big ol' high speed roller coaster and I am standing in line waiting for it to stop, yelling, "SLOW DOWN. STOP. WAIT A MINUTE." And I hate it. Shall I go on? No, I don't think so. That was enough, wasn't it?  Maybe it's all the 'NyQuil' that has brought this little bought of negativity out of me. NyQuil has been my friend the last few nights, as I've done just about anything to get a few good hours of sleep in. I've caught some sort of a bug that has found its way to my head, chest, joints, you name it . . . the bug found it. (My ears are popping as I type. Not fun!) Unfortunately, I'm not able to get much of the rest I so desi...

I've had a headache today. All.day.long. One of those “I wish I didn’t have to work today and could just lay my head down for the next 5 hours” kind of headaches. It’s probably because I stayed up until 1:30AM watching CNN, and then woke up at 5:30AM to start the day. This is my body’s way of saying, “HELLO!! You NEED to go to sleep earlier!!! We don’t like it when you keep us up so late.” Ah, well. Driving to work this morning, I took my lovely favorite road. I wrote about it a while ago (click here to be reminded). Here’s a picture of it this morning . . . Yes, things are changing here in Chicago. The wind is blowing and leaves are falling all over the place, and I’m ready to hunker down for the winter (I know, crazy, isn’t it?) My neighbors laugh at me this time of year, as I diligently work at pulling out tomato plants and sunflowers, cutting down hostas and lilies, and putting lawn furniture away for the winter. I’m definitely closing up shop . . . and I love th...

I've sat down and written this post three or four times now. I guess if something doesn't come easily, then I should just give it up, huh? For some reason, though, I couldn't. Especially after reading so many blogs this week on "embracing imperfections". Please allow me to share my own "embracing" story . . . the good, the bad, and the ugly. When I started writing this post, I was heated and the blood was boiling. I was venting to the max and I wanted to tear it up with all my blogland friends. I think hanging around in blogland with my dear friend Nicole has got me liberated! ;)  But then I decided that I needed to approach it all a little differently. I want to stay true to the person I am, so I'm decided to put a positive spin on what made me so annoyed this week. Allow me, if you will, to share . . . A few days ago, I stumbled upon a couple of blogs that just made me stop in my tracks and wonder … What in the ...

Have you ever hit a brick wall on your blog posts and thought, "That's it . . . I'm done. I've got nothing else to say. Nothing else to enlighten the world with. No other opinion or memory to share. No more stories to tell."? What do you do when you have spent the past year on a non-stop marathon of writing and sharing and laughing and crying with your newest BFF's in blogland, and all of a sudden you think, "Oh, dear... I got nothing left to tell them." I'm feeling that way today. All day long - in between a very very productive day at work and a non-stop action filled evening of dinner, baths, snack, Phineas and Ferb, story reading and snuggle time - I've been thinking about what I could possibly write tonight in my blog. And I've got . . .  nothing. Has this ever happened to you? What do you do? Do you ever worry that if you take a few days off, your blog friends will forget you? Or your followers will move on to other blogs...

That’s my summer beverage of choice. It has been for a while. I am not a sweet coffee drinker. And in the summer, I love my coffee on ice . . . it’s so refreshing and brings an instant SMILE to my face when I have it. The order seems easy enough, don’t you think? No bells or whistles. No syrups or potions. Nothing special . . . just the coffee, some cream, and a few ice cubes. Easy. Right? Evidently, not . Because three times in the past month I have left my local Starbucks with the wrong coffee. I’ve left with SUGARY SWEET coffee. And that makes me . . . cranky. I don’t like being cranky. So, this week I went back into Starbucks with the wrong coffee, and asked for the right coffee. Because, as you know, this coffee is not free. I pay for it. (It’s my vice. My Iced Venti Coffee, cream only, NO Sweetener, coffee. That, and the Real Housewives shows on Bravo – but that’s a post for another day.) I digress, so today I became a little cranky upon my return to Starbu...