From Chaos Comes Happiness

My friends . . . where have you been?       And where, you may ask, have I been? Processing. Just . . . processing.      Processing Life. The weeks. The days. The moments. All of them. It has been a particularly challenging year for me and my 44 year old self (whooaaaa - when did that happen? 44 years? I thought I was 30. 32 tops.) It has been a year of trying desperately to hold on to myself, while somehow letting myself go. A year of autopilot - trying to do what I needed to do when I needed to do it, but fighting with myself all the while. A year of quiet struggles within my own mind. Yes, a challenging year, for sure. I started to think of the areas in my life as separate neighborhoods within myself - little communities - each with their own needs and wants, and often requiring much at the most inopportune moments. Mommy hood.  Wife hood.  Laundry hood.  Sibling h...

We are heading out of town for a few days this week . . . to sunny and warm Arizona. We were just there last summer, but decided (with the help of Phil's flyer miles and Hilton points) that it would be the most cost effective place for us to escape to this spring break. And escaping is just what I need to do. The past year has been one of the most emotionally draining in my life. I don't know why . . . but I am not keeping myself in line on the emotion side of life as much as I have in the past. Maybe I never have. Maybe I've always been a big ol'stress magnet. But this past year, it is really hanging on me, and I am feeling it. So, I am heading to sunny Arizona for a few days of R & R. And I can't wait. The last time we were there, I snapped a few moments like these . . . I can't wait for the pool . . . seriously . . . the sunshine . . .  the warmth . . . the sound of children laughing . . . all of it.  I can't wait for the blu...

Boy, have I been messed up lately. A hot mess, actually. Not the hot mess like I was when I was sick last month. ( Remember ?) No, this is just the normal hot mess me. Does that make sense? So incredibly cranky. Tired. Frustrated. Lonely. Bored. Exhausted. (Is it even possible to be both bored yet exhausted at the same time?) Hot. Short-tempered. Irritated. Ignored. Defensive. Just a whole bunch of nasty negatives . . . blah. blah. blah. I don't like the person I've been. I've been bothered by things others have said months ago, and can't seem to get past it. My defenses are up - the mortar on my brick wall has long dried, and I have no desire to take it down. I've got 0% creative ideas these days, I'm bummed that enrollment for my classes hasn't totally taken off, and the thought of even going away for a few days has me anxiety ridden at the thought of spending too much of the money our family needs to survive right now. I don't feel ...

"WHERE IS THAT MONDAY VLOG?!?!?!??" "YOU SAID THERE WAS GOING TO BE A MONDAY VLOG!!!" "YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO HAVE A GIVE AWAY!!!!" "WHAT'S UP WITH THAT????" Yes, I hear you. I hear you loud and clear. But my friends . . . I've been busy today. I've been . . . working. Yes, I have. On my Etsy Store. It's open , by the way. Did you hear that? MY ETSY STORE IS OPEN!!!!! WOOOOOOooooooo HOOOOOoooooOOOOO!!!! You forgive me for not having the Vlog all ready for you this morning, don't you? I mean, you understand. Because, you know, I've been WORKING!!! :)     :)     :) So, do me a favor, will you? Go on over to that Etsy Store and pay me a visit, will you? Here's the link: Leanne's Etsy Store You're going to love it. Now, I know I don't have a lot of stuff in the store now. But people . . . I'm making BIG strides here, d...

Yes . . . we are. And I feel . . . amazing. Rested. Peaceful. Calm. Relaxed. Renewed. Did I mention . . . calm? Yes, I feel calm. We've been back for two days, and I STILL feel calm. I guess having views like this may have helped . . . And seeing my daughter like this might have helped, too . . . But then again, it may have been spending hours right here that really helped . . . Oh, and maybe it was enjoying a ride like this that helped, too . . . I have so much to share with you from our recent get-away to Puerto Rico! (YES!! We went to Puerto Rico . . . and it was honestly the very best vacation we have ever had. Really. THE BEST.) I'll be back soon sharing more photos and stories. Just wanted to leave a quick note right now. Today, I'm off to purchase a new scrapbook to record all of our memories and photos of this trip in, and then . . . time to do the laundry! I am feeling so peaceful, my friends. This is JUST what I needed. Hugs to you all ...

Fear. Ugh. Go away. I have a pit in my stomach today. A pit that hurts inside. A pit that wonders what the heck I am doing. A pit that has me thinking it's time to get back into the "real world" and leave this dreamy state behind. A pit that took a good long look at the bank account and said, "Ok . . . seriously . . . get moving, honey. You need a job. NOW." I need to put my art out there. But I still have much to do before I am ready for that. Do I really? Or is it just the scared me who is procrastinating.  Bowl of peach pits image from google image search. Original source unknown.  I'm a big procrastinator. Sometimes . . . life is the pits, you know? Sometimes . . . I just need a day like this to bring me down to reality a little. Sometimes . . . I want to crawl up under the covers and let the day go by without having to get up. But I can't do that today. Or tomorrow. I have things going on that require my presence....

Isn't it frustrating to be traveling through life, enjoying the views, feeling happy and optimistic, when . . . . BAM . . . you hit a wall. While trying to back up and take another route . . . . BAM . . . . there was a wall behind you that you didn't see. Well, that route didn't quite work out as you planned, now did it? Let's try this way . . . I am sure the view will be much better there . . . . BAM . . . . well, where did that wall come from? I'm feeling a little bit like that today. The universe has tilted, and while I am blessed with so many things in my day . . . I'm feeling a little off. Tired. Worried. Frustrated. Tired of trying to make everyone happy. Worried about those I love. Frustrated that I need to get over all of it, and just give it up to God . . . I have so many blessings. I know that. But... BAM. Another wall. How do you knock down the walls around you?

It’s so hard to keep a positive outlook on life when people get in the way, don’t you think? Sometimes I wonder if I would be happy all of the time - if I lived in a secluded part of the world, just me, my Katie and my Ella (oh, and my blog friends. I’d have to take you guys with us.) Yes, I think we’d all be pretty happy. I had a cranky day today, which I find really frustrating since I’ve been trying so hard to live a "happy life". Today, situations outside of my control made me very aggravated. I felt like I was in the middle in a bunch of "not nice games" all day long. Not fun games (like Yahtzee or Uno.) No, these were "not nice games". I don’t like playing “not nice games". I prefer to play nice. So, I was in a foul mood for most of the day. Sitting at my desk at work, I could feel my eyebrows slanting down towards the middle of my face, and the frown lines taking shape on the sides of my mouth. I could feel the tension in my shoulders...

My dear, dear friends . . . I'm drained. Photo from Google image search of "Maverick" roller coaster in Cedar Point. I'm tired. I'm stressed. I'm stuffy (my head and chest). I'm cranky.  I'm feeling like all of life around me just jumped on a big ol' high speed roller coaster and I am standing in line waiting for it to stop, yelling, "SLOW DOWN. STOP. WAIT A MINUTE." And I hate it. Shall I go on? No, I don't think so. That was enough, wasn't it?  Maybe it's all the 'NyQuil' that has brought this little bought of negativity out of me. NyQuil has been my friend the last few nights, as I've done just about anything to get a few good hours of sleep in. I've caught some sort of a bug that has found its way to my head, chest, joints, you name it . . . the bug found it. (My ears are popping as I type. Not fun!) Unfortunately, I'm not able to get much of the rest I so desi...

Well, HAPPY FRIDAY!!! It is a particularly GORGEOUS FRIDAY in Chicago today. Some rough storms last night made way to a beaUTIFUL day today - sunshine, blue skies, and temps in the low '70s!!! Yes, summer is taking a break today, and offering us all a taste of the months ahead . . . FALL. Say it with me, will you?   F A L L Or, how about this one . . .  P U M P K I N   S P I C E   L A T T E Or . . .  J E A N S Or . . . C A N D Y   C O R N Ok, so candy corn really isn't a favorite of mine (I think I OD'd on it in another life - and by 'another life' I mean last year). It's really really sweet - but, oh how lovely it looks in a bowl on my counter. LOVE IT! So, here I am - feeling like it's time to update the blog header to include some pumpkins, a new HOT COFFEE cup, and some Halloween pics from last year. The air conditioning is off, the windows are open, I'm feeling so darn happy here today that it's almost sickening! I de...

So, a while back, I visited a little town called Crankville . Do you remember? (Click the link on Crankville if you forgot). Crankville is an ugly place - kind of lonely - very quiet - sort of gray - not very crowded, although you can usually find SOMEONE you know when you are there. During that time, I realized I desperately needed to GET OUT. I needed to return to HAPPYVILLE . I allowed myself a few days in this town, but when enough was enough - I took the next bus OUT. All with the help of this card . . . This card makes me HAPPY!!! Yesterday and today, a dear blog friend (Leslie from { Words of Me Project } has been in Crankville. Yep, she has. So, I decided to spread the "Get out of Crankville" Love, and bestow upon her my very own "Get out of Crankville" card. This post is dedicated to my dear friend, Leslie. Leslie, You are hereby gifted this post, with one "Get out of Crankville" Free Card! With it comes the opportunity to escape ...