From Chaos Comes Happiness

Sometimes, it hits me like a brick. Like a fucking huge ass brick that is coming at me 100mph. My sister is dead. Shocking . . . to say it like that. So direct. So final. But it is the truth. And sometimes, it hits me just like that. I walked into my house yesterday to this . . . her wedding dress. In my living room. My brother-in-law wanted me to have it - in case my girls wanted it for either a part of their own dresses some day, or maybe their babies christening gowns. Or something. The thought was one of kindness and generosity. But still, it fucking hit me like a brick. Today? Why today? And why did my own husband just leave it there for me to see? And why is it such a big deal to me? Because . . . it hurts. It hurts every damn day. It has been 434 days since she passed. (No, I am not keeping a tally going . . . I promise. I just looked it up for this post.) But, it has been 434 days since she passed. And it has hurt for 434 days. And that, my frien...

We travel, not to escape life . . . but for life not to escape us.  Oh, friends. The last post I wrote here on my blog was about JOY - the desire to find it, the deep need to see  it, to have it, to believe that it was still possible. And I am still working so very hard at doing that right now. This grief thing has a pretty huge hold over me. But, in the middle of it all, in the middle of the tears and sadness over the loss of my sister . . . I ran away for a few days . . . and found some of the joy I was looking for. And I found it . . . in Georgia. Plains and Americus, Georgia . . . to be exact. One day last fall, my sister sat in our Art Shoppe with me and our dear friend Peggy and said the three of us should travel to Georgia to visit our blog friend, Nicole. I was so surprised that Laura was the one to come up with this idea (because I was usually the one who came up with pretty crazy plans.) I know that she was serious about it, though, because she connec...

Well . . . how do you do, dear friend? I am here. My blog. (insert  . . . . HUGE sigh). 2017 was the last time I visited this space in the universe. Sitting here right now, I feel completely lost. Like, I have no idea who the person was who used to write and share thoughts in this online journal of sorts. Although I am still me ( in some regards) . . . in others, I am completely different. I knew it was time to return to the Land of Blog because this blog has always been my therapy. And my friends, I am in need of it. My safe place. My safe place space to cry. My safe place to write. My safe place to share.  Friends, I have a lot to share. A lot of it is good. And some of it . . . is not. The 'not' is where my head is right now . . . where my soul is. My sister. My sister left this world on December 17th. She was diagnosed with a rare and rather agressive form of cancer. She passed 4 weeks after her diagnosis. And my heart is broken. So, I am back. I ...

      . . . I love life even more than I ever imagined.  Because of them . . .      I   smile wider and laugh longer.  Because of them . . .       I try to be the best person I can be, each and every day.    Because of them . . .       I live this life with more passion, more energy, more faith, more inspiration, more adventures, more focus, more spirit, more excitement, more tenderness, more peace, more love, more joy, more radiance, more abundance, more clarity, more generosity, more purpose, more magic.  Because of them . . .       I live this life with More.  Because of them . . .       I live.  And because of them . . . I thank God, each and every moment.  Wishing you peace, my friends.  xoxo   

                  I have an amazing husband.  Have I told you that before?   I don't want to gloat, or sound like I am bragging. I am not. I am just recognizing one of my biggest blessings, and sharing it with you today. My husband. He is pretty awesome.  In the past few months, he has been top notch.  And sometimes I forget to tell him that.  Because, I guess, the expectation is for him to be this ' Superman '. Not only for me, but for everyone else.  Sometimes, I forget that he is real. Just like you and me.  Sometimes, I forget that he has pressures and stresses - unlike those that I can relate to. He has that "manly" responsibility to care for all four of us - for our home, to pay our bills, provide . . . all those things. Even though he knows we are in this ' together ' - that we work ' together ' - I know he carries the load.  Yes, sometimes I forget that he really has the weight of the world on h...

My burners are full right now, friends. All of them. And things are simmering . . . steadily.  In other words . . . I feel like I have a lot going on right now.  While blow drying the 'do' this morning (because, you know, that is when my greatest thoughts and ideas come to me), I came up with this analogy for life: Comparing it to a great chef in one of the busiest restaurants - with every single burner on the stove running at full capacity, and still keeping up with each of them before anything overflows.  That's how I feel lately. I keep stirring them - going from one pot to another, to make sure that nothing boils over. But so far, so good. Nothing is burning. Yet. ;)   One pot is full of Girl Scouts & Brownie meetings and activities, the other is full of swimming and band practices, one is full of Art to work on, the other is planning for craft fairs, one pot has art classes and home art parties in it, and another is filled to the rim wit...

         It's been a busy, and chaotic couple of days here in our house.  Busy with school activities, Girl Scouts, swimming, broken lawn mowers, doctor visits for coughs that just won't quite, business trips for daddy, art classes for mommy, and a whole bunch of other things that I have already filed in that 'short term memory' box days ago.  In the midst of all of that, I've been trying my best to be a good mom. You know, the kind who stops what she is focused on when she has a moody 6th grader who needs some love. Or the kind who stops cooking dinner and plays school with her 2nd grader when she needs to.  You know, that good kind of mom.  I am not always that kind of mom, though. Because sometimes . . . I just . . . forget.  I forget that it is hard to be 11 and 7. It really, really is. It's hard when your body is changing, when your emotions are going up and down and you can't even begin to understa...

Summer. It's around the corner. It's so close, that I have already had my air conditioner on this year. It's so close, that the kids are in the single digits for remaining school days (a thought that makes my stomach turn). Oh, please don't get me wrong . . . I can't wait for homework and school activities to end for a little while, but with that comes a whole new set of challenges. The miserable . . . "I'm bored" scenario. So, I set out to solve the "I'm bored!" dilemma. And my friends, I've got it all covered. You see, I am bound and determined to remove the words "I'm bored" from my children's vocabulary this summer. If I feel it coming on, I'm ready for it . . . I will simply refer the children to the Pantry Door, for our very own summer fun list. Yep . . . we.are.set. I can't take credit for it. I found the idea on Pinterest. But I will take credit for actually pinning something, and actua...

We are heading out of town for a few days this week . . . to sunny and warm Arizona. We were just there last summer, but decided (with the help of Phil's flyer miles and Hilton points) that it would be the most cost effective place for us to escape to this spring break. And escaping is just what I need to do. The past year has been one of the most emotionally draining in my life. I don't know why . . . but I am not keeping myself in line on the emotion side of life as much as I have in the past. Maybe I never have. Maybe I've always been a big ol'stress magnet. But this past year, it is really hanging on me, and I am feeling it. So, I am heading to sunny Arizona for a few days of R & R. And I can't wait. The last time we were there, I snapped a few moments like these . . . I can't wait for the pool . . . seriously . . . the sunshine . . .  the warmth . . . the sound of children laughing . . . all of it.  I can't wait for the blu...

I'm so proud of my daughters. There are times when I look at the beautiful souls they are becoming, and my heart swells. We talk constantly . . . communication . . . that is the key. When I know that something is really bothering them, I want to talk it through. I've raised them to know that there is nothing that we can't work through - nothing that we can't figure out - nothing that we can't talk about.  When they were younger (3 or 4), the conversations were short and brief. Their worries were simple things that I could always figure out. I almost enjoyed those opportunites, so I could show them how easy the solutions really were. But now, as they get older, some of their questions and concerns have become harder to address.  Things in our extended family life have been challenging this past holiday. Disagreements from years ago resurfaced, certain family members didn't attend holiday gatherings, and feelings of hurt and anger that were long covered over have ...

Well, the kids have just over a month of summer break remaining . . . and I feel like we've already done so much this year, I can't imagine what's left! Well . . . yes, I can . . . because we have lots more scheduled that we'll be squeezing in the next few weeks. We've got books to read, scrapbook projects to complete, a visit to downtown Chicago planned (along with a day at the Art Institute of Chicago). We've got Summer Band Camp starting August 4th, and Girl Scout activities taking place shortly thereafter. I still have about 5 art classes to teach, and there are even more graduations and birthdays to celebrate. Yes, it's flying by . . . but we're not finished yet. This morning, I sat on the computer cropping and ordering photos from Walgreens from all of our summer fun thus far. I think I ordered over 300 pictures . . . I like to get extras when there are photos of neighbors kids and other special shots included, so I can pass them on to friends ...

Follow my blog with Bloglovin Oooooo . . . I love awards! There is something so awesomely special about someone taking time out of their day, their life, their moment . . . to share a little happy-goodness with you . It's been a long time since I was involved in a little blogland sort of celebration, but my dearest Nat over at " Just Nat " was incredibly kind to share a "Liebster Award" with me last week. And Nat . . . I am forever grateful!! Just Nat! I adore Nat . . . she is my adventure sister, a photographer extraordinaire, my worldliest of friends, and one of my longest running blog buddies. I don't know how long we have been in each others blog lives (years, I tell you . . . it has been years) . . . but I do know that just months ago I saw my very first photo of HER (the beautiful photos on her blog are usually of her travels and other subjects along her journey) . . . but when I saw my very first photo of HER - her face, her smile - happy t...

Oh, my friends . . . what a busy week it was. I've got lots of stories to update you on, and this time, I am going to do my very best to do just that! It's Sunday morning here . . . the house is still quite (yay!) . . . I just cropped all the photos from my camera . . . I have a full cup off coffee . . . and blogland is my oyster! I thought I would just sit and write as many blog posts as I can this morning. I have a list a mile long of all that I wanted to share on here. So this morning, I hope to get as many written as possible. With any luck, we'll have at least a week or two of some new material to ponder . . . YAY! Before we get into any deep thinking . . . I'll leave that for Tuesday or Wednesday, perhaps . . . I have to share our major weekend celebration with you. Drum roll . . . please . . . Because, my friends . . . I have . . . a TEN YEAR OLD!!! Yep. Katie Girl, Katherine Josephine, Katie-Potatie, (and all the other names I've given her through th...

Do you ever wonder if birds have their own language? I mean . . . not the squawking "I'm hungry, get me a worm" kind of noises they make. I mean a full blown "don't come out of that bird house, cause this lady mowing the lawn is a nut job and will probably run you over if you land in her path" or "hey, see that newly washed shiny clean blue mini-van in the driveway? let's leave them a present right on their wind shield so they know we love them!" sort of language. I wonder about that. A lot. Did I tell you about my birdhouse? No? Well, allow me to digress . . . We had a garage sale last month. Nothing too fancy or big. Lots of the girls clothing that no longer fits and some DVD's and stuff. Whenever we have a garage sale, I usually let the extended family know, and if they have some items they'd like to sell, they are welcome to join me in the garage for the day with their table of goodies. This year, my brother-in-law came w...

We went away for a few days . . . to sunny (and so so hot) Arizona. And there is nothing like renewing the soul a thousand miles away from reality. Nothing like getting away from the laundry, the chores, the worries. Nothing like closing your eyes and feeling the sun work it's magic on your soul. It was a beautiful trip. Swimming, laughter, a few good drinks, quality time with some dear dear friends, and being closer to Gods art. That's what the whole scenery of Arizona looks like to me . . . like God's very own Mixed Media piece. From cactus and desert to His own mountainous cathedrals, I spent the past few days reflecting and taking it all in. And it was . . . wonderful. I thought I'd share some pictures with you of our adventure. Some I've already shared on Instagram and/or Facebook, and some are from our digital camera. These are my very favorite photos from our trip . . . sigh . . . I miss it already . . . Arizona . . . it has to be one of my top...

. . . it's been busy. But the good kind of busy. The kind of busy that has you enjoying each and every moment . . . living and loving life.  It's been a wonderful Spring, my friends, and here is a little glimpse of what we've been doing. Around these parts . . . . . . we're waiting patiently for Easter Egg hunts,    . . . and then getting all gussied up.   . . . we're climbing trees, . . . and going on scavenger hunts. We're baking cookies, . . . and delivering them to our friends. We're doing cartwheels, . . . whistling with sticks, . . . and riding tractors. We're doing lots and lots of creating, . . . and really looking at the beautiful things in life. And even though you can dress us up . . .   . . . most days, you still can't take us out.   Yes, it's been a wonderful Spring, and I hope you are having a wonderful one, too, my friends.   Wishing you Peace!