From Chaos Comes Happiness

  Dear Friends . . .  I have been doing it. Each and every day. Taking those little moments of joy and capturing them by feeling and by photo, and sharing them on my Instagram page. And I have learned SO much - it has been a lovely study, so to speak, about mind over matter. About pulling myself out of a funk and recognize that even while funky, there is so much joy. Not BIG "Disney World" sort of joy. I am talking day to day joy . . . the little things. Even in a funk, you can find it.  I have said this before . . . perhaps here on the blog, definitely to friends and to myself . . . the past few years have been hard. I feel like I have been in a perpetual state of grief. Mourning the illness and death of my sister, mourning the end of a dream and the closing a business that gave so much to my spirit, mourning relationships that failed, mourning a world in termoil and a global pandemic I certainly had never experienced before. I feel like my body and mind went into some h...

A friend of mine posted this quote on Facebook this week, and the moment I read it - it was as if a stadium of people stood up in my head and cheered, " YES !" and " THIS !" and " BRAVOOO !", each exclamation repeating over and over in my head as I read and re-read the quote all week long. Written by the  most brilliant and giftedly insightful Anne Lamott, it sort of became my instant mantra . . . so much so, that I immediately shared it with my Facebook friends.   I can imagine a large art piece with this very quote hanging on a wall in our home. . . not that I want to entertain visitors with thoughts of my jiggly thighs or comfortable tummy . . . but because the meaning behind it all is so damn near perfect. "Don't let that happen," she tells us. "Don't forget to live that big, juicy, creative life." YES!! I think it is so fitting for me right now, because at some point during the last year - I thin...

                                My honey (PG, the husband, the one who makes my heart full) returned home last night from what I believe is his last trip of the year. I think. (😳 maybe I better confirm.) He travels for his job, a lot.  Some trips I welcome - I can tell when he is getting antsy and needs a change of scenery, and the space does us both some good. But this fall - his trips have been a bit challenging for me, seem to have fallen on the very weeks when I am SUPER busy with life, and I have missed him terribly.  I sleep better when he is home.  Ok, just confirmed . . . One more overnight mid month, then we are done.  I can handle that.  It's funny - I always say that when he is gone for a longer period of time, the adrenaline kicks in and I am super organized, get the housework and chores and work and kids stuff done, and go into some sort of autopilot mode. When he comes...

December 1 I want so much to stop the clock this month. To look. To take it all in. To BE in the moment. To LIVE the now. And NOT think about the tomorrow. Because I don't know where the past 11 months have gone. This morning as Ella and I sat at the kitchen table before our day began, Ella watching a Minecraft Video on her iPad and me catching up on my Yahtzee game, it felt as if time stood still for a brief moment. I stopped. I took it in. It was her breath that did it. It caught my attention and caused me to pause. This beautiful little soul that I brought into the world. My daughter. The sound of her breathing in and out softly, as she did her thing, brought a calmness over myself that I haven't felt in what seems like years. I grabbed my phone and snapped a photo of her, and then just sat there watching her. Hugging her Teddy. Her very best friend. She's changed so much this Fall. Glasses. Braces. Growing like a weed. Each day I watch her blo...

My friends . . . where have you been?       And where, you may ask, have I been? Processing. Just . . . processing.      Processing Life. The weeks. The days. The moments. All of them. It has been a particularly challenging year for me and my 44 year old self (whooaaaa - when did that happen? 44 years? I thought I was 30. 32 tops.) It has been a year of trying desperately to hold on to myself, while somehow letting myself go. A year of autopilot - trying to do what I needed to do when I needed to do it, but fighting with myself all the while. A year of quiet struggles within my own mind. Yes, a challenging year, for sure. I started to think of the areas in my life as separate neighborhoods within myself - little communities - each with their own needs and wants, and often requiring much at the most inopportune moments. Mommy hood.  Wife hood.  Laundry hood.  Sibling h...

       I'm doing it.  I am.  I. AM. DOING. IT.  I came to this realization last night, as I was packing up for my next art class at Bedford Park District (takes place Monday night, by the way, and I am really excited about it - because it is different from anything I have offered before.) But . . . I digress . . . as I stood in front of my plastic bin filling it with supplies and counting brushes & canvases - I realized, I am doing it.  I am having my cake . . . and eating it, too.  Over a year ago, Phil and I had a discussion about the idea of me returning to work. At the time, the thought upset me so much - that I think I cried for a number of days and totally shut down. It broke me. I don't know why. No, I take that back. I know exactly why.  I was scared. I was afraid I was going to have to give up this creative life that I have worked so hard to get to in the past three years. I was afraid I couldn't do it all. I was afraid I wo...

Last week, I told my dear friend, Peggy, how much I missed blogging. " I don't even know where to begin, " I told her. " It's been so long, I don't even know what to say. "  " Just write," she said. " Write about what you're  doing. Just do it. "  Wise words from a wise friend.  So . . . Me? What am I doing . . . . I guess, I am just up to my eye balls in LIFE.   2014 - it went out with a bang (a new job, four weeks of a horrible cold and cough, non-stop holiday activities, lots of family fun with even some not-so-fun, and everything that goes with it.)  Then, 2015. A new year, new focus, the rebirth of old ideas in brand new ways. A friend making her dream come true, and me being allowed to enjoy the benefits of it. And life. It IS THE life.  To avoid boring you with all if the little day in and day out happenings of the past 56 days - I'll take a few days this week to share two or three moments of th...

I love the sound of leaves crunching under my feet. I love to feel them up against my legs as I walk through a pile of them. I prefer to have socks on to avoid as much itchiness as possible . . . but some days, unplanned walks in the woods are the very best thing for the soul. I've mentioned before how blessed I am to live where we live - not only because we are in the Midwest (which welcomes the seasons of winter, spring, summer and fall with open arms), but because we are just minutes away from a most lovely nature forest preserve. It is heavenly. I find myself taking a drive through it weekly . . . just turning down the street that leads straight into the path of peace . . . more often than not. Mostly without even realizing what I am doing. During many of these afternoon drives, I pull over and step out into the quiet for a quick walk, to just . . . breath. Sometimes I get my best deep breaths of air - in those woods. It's kind of like my heaven on earth. It...

I like to start my mornings sitting right here at my kitchen table, with a fresh, hot cup of coffee, and our backyard.       My red cardinal whirlie-gig that the girls bought for me.                   Our little blow up pool.                            The garden, and our sunflowers.                                     Sigh. This is my happy place. . . when the house is quiet, and the sunshine is just waking up the world outside. These are also the colors that make me happy. Lately, I can't get enough of them . . . I realized today, these are the colors of our backyard. Most mornings, I sit and watch my neighbor as he makes his way to his garden (which is right on the other side of the fence from ours.) He is a meticulous gardener, with his organiza...

Lately I found myself losing sight of those moments that make me happy. It's so easy to let myself get caught up in the drama of others . . . becoming lost in the negatives . . . and forgetting the simple things that bring me joy. Ah, focus . . .  It started a few months ago, when Phil told me that I don't just sympathize with others . . . that I really empathize with them. I take on their emotions and begin to truly feel as if what is happening to them, is happening to me too. Of course, it's not. But I couldn't agree with him more. It was a perfect way to describe what I was putting myself through in recent months, as sleepless nights and physical stress started to take over my own life. So, I made a plan. To remove myself (as much as I could) from the emotion. This is a really hard task, and not one that can happen overnight. But I'm trying.  I don't want to lose the caring part of me, I just need to learn how to handle it. How to be a good list...

I love when you first meet someone and in a short amount of time, they say something so touching that you feel it deep in your soul. I love that this new person in your life, who for all intent and purposes is a stranger, can open your eyes to something that you may have never noticed before. Something that you may have sometimes wondered about. And I love that this person can make you stop and say a silent prayer to the 'Big Man Upstairs" for all he has given you in life . . . and in love. I spent a couple days this past weekend at a lovely Scrapbook event at a nearby Double Tree Inn. My friend Kim, a Creative Memories Consultant, participates in it with a number of her consultant friends, and I have watched her talk about it on Facebook for years. When she posted about the March weekend coming up, it sounded like a good time for me to take advantage of it and attend. I have never done a long weekend of scrapbooking like that before. And while I did get a lot done, the w...

         So, how is your week going, my friend? Do you find yourself changing any behaviors or habits as a result of your word for this year? Well . . . I've been embracing FOCUS and all that comes with it. So much so, that I had a "Me Party" one day last week. And it was wonderful.  I've wanted to see the movie " Saving Mr. Banks " since it came out, but between Phil's travel schedule, my schedule, and the kids schedules, Phil and I could not get ourselves there. This bothered me so . . . especially since it looked like a movie I would greatly enjoy.  All week I hmmmed and hawed about going to see it - the guilt took over as I told myself, " No . . . You cannot take yourself during the day, while your kids are at school and your husband is at work. You should be home . . . doing laundry, making dinner, or painting. You don't deserve such a treat for yourself. "  And then, I told myself . . . " Go. Do it. You want to...

        It's been 48,960 minutes since I've written on my blog.  48,960. Wow.  That's just about 34 days. Never before (since starting this blog way   back  in 2009, that is) have I been away for so long.  But I needed it.  I  think I've needed it for a longtime.  And it was pretty darn good . . . this little break of mine. " What have you done in that time?" you ask?  Well, I've been to Italy. To Rome and the Amalfi Coast, that is. I've toured the Vatican, wept, and lit a candle at St. Peter's Basilica. I've eaten some of the best pasta I have ever had in my life. I saw the Mediterranean Sea, and drank the most amazing limoncello. I've visited Pompeii and took a good long look at Mount Vesuvius. I had the trip of a life time . . . . truly one I could have only dreamt of. Then I came home and worked really hard on my art - in preparation for a craft show at the end of the September. I painted, cut, glued, stamped and 'po...

  I'm reading a great book right now called "Living Out Loud: Activities to fuel a Creative Life" by Keri Smith.  It's a fun, creative little pocket book with great prompts and ideas for living a creative life. And if you have followed me for any amount of time, you will already know that one of my life mantras is to "Live a Creative Life." It's been important to me for quite a while, and I still find myself having to be reminded of it. One of the big things I try to follow is the whole idea of "putting it out there". The creative me. The dreams. The goals. All of it. No matter how ridiculous it may seem to some of you. My friend Peggy believes strongly, too, the idea of "putting it out there . . . Into the universe." She's always proud of me when I do that. :) There is a great exercise in the book - to answers some questions about the "Ideal You" as if you were already living your ideal life. The author encoura...

. . . and I used to blog. A lot. Then I caught a cold. And I had to go to the doctor. They took an x-ray. Turns out, I had pneumonia. Bad pneumonia. (As if there is a "good" pneumonia.) I had to cancel a visitor who I had invited to my home months ago. This made me sad. :( Extremely sad. But, still, I had that pneumonia. So I had to take antibiotics, breathing treatments, cough medicine, and an inhaler .  . . for a long time. I was told to rest. So, I did just that. Then . . . my back went out on me. I went to the doctor. Again. He said it was because of the type/strength/length of antibiotics I was on for the pneumonia. My pneumonia went away. But my back was messed up. So, I stopped the antibiotics. And a couple days later, my back felt better. But then, like clock work, my allergies kicked in. Tree pollen is bad. For me. I went to the doctor. Yes . . . again. He said I was a ...

After spending WEEKS (seriously, friends . . . WEEKS) of looking out my window and seeing this... I feel so refreshed and energized to finally see this . . .   Oh, Mr. Sunshine! I'm SO GLAD you are here!   My friends . . . things were so very grim last week. Not only in terms of the weather, but in terms of the world. Our nation. Everything. It was a rough one. I found myself praying . . . a lot. Thinking. Feeling grateful for my safety. Feeling blessed for the safety of all those I know. Taking it all in, and praying for peace and healing for the world.   So, I missed "Crafty Schmafty Friday" again. I guess, with everything going on in the world and in our country last week, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. But by Friday evening . . . things were picking up . . . for all of us.   And I am so grateful for that!     Today, it's a new day. (I love our happy Frog . . . and the tulips . . . just danc...