From Chaos Comes Happiness

  Dear Friends . . .  I have been doing it. Each and every day. Taking those little moments of joy and capturing them by feeling and by photo, and sharing them on my Instagram page. And I have learned SO much - it has been a lovely study, so to speak, about mind over matter. About pulling myself out of a funk and recognize that even while funky, there is so much joy. Not BIG "Disney World" sort of joy. I am talking day to day joy . . . the little things. Even in a funk, you can find it.  I have said this before . . . perhaps here on the blog, definitely to friends and to myself . . . the past few years have been hard. I feel like I have been in a perpetual state of grief. Mourning the illness and death of my sister, mourning the end of a dream and the closing a business that gave so much to my spirit, mourning relationships that failed, mourning a world in termoil and a global pandemic I certainly had never experienced before. I feel like my body and mind went into some h...

I've started a new chapter, friends . . . in my Book of Life.  I sat down tonight and thought about it - my book. I haven't thought about it in a long time. We each have our own book, you know? Some are long-drawn-out novels, others are short and sweet novellas. Some are cliff notes with only key moments included, others are multiple volumes in great lengths discussing every single battle in great detail. Some are strictly illustration, others have an extensive collection of footnotes that are longer than the story itself. But my story is mine, and yours is yours.  They started the day we were born, and have grown to carry each moment that makes us who we are.  I love thinking about people in my life, and wondering what their Book of Life looks like. Soft cover or hard? Hand-bound or spiral?  Big or Little? Would there be any photos, or would the words alone paint the images in our minds? I think every single book would be worth reading, and can only imagine wha...

"Are you writing during this time?" my friend asked. "No," I answered. "Don't you think you should?" she asked. "I don't know," I answered. My friend. She knows me. She loves me. She knows that writing is my therapy. She knows that it is what I do when I am working through challenges in life.  "Don't you think you should?" She also knows that if she plants that little seed in my ear, it will more than likely grab hold of some part of this brain and grow it's little roots in every part of my being . . . until . . . I write. Damn. Friends. ;) I am not writing right now. Because, for the past 11 years, I have taken pride in always finding a way to the positive during rather dark and dismal times. Yes, I do that. I try to see through the challenges and find the silver lining. But right now, I can't do that. Because right now, the emotions I have swirling in my head don't seem to have silve...

My dearest friend Kathleen and I talked last night about Faith. First, while talking on the phone, then continuing our thoughts through text as more things came to our minds on the subject. My friend has always been one of the most faithful individuals in my life. For 40 years, she has been in my life . . . and for 40 years I have admired the constant presence God has had in hers. I have spent a great part of these 40 years trying to learn from her, to follow her examples, to trust, to pray, to do all those things people of great faith do. Some times I have been successful at it. Other times, not so much. She told me last night, as she has told me many times the past few months, "I pray for you everyday... so when you can't pray, I am praying for you." That is a beautiful friend. But, I am trying. I am trying to find my faith. Truly, I am. But the sadness I have been feeling seems greater each day, instead of less. I keep thinking - maybe I am doing somethin...

This popped up on my Facebook feed the other day. I sat and read the words over and over.  That is true, right? I looked it up . . . just to make sure.  Nope . . . nothing in the definition of "broken" suggests, to me  , that something can be fixed.  Well, that sort of sucks.  I am trying, anyway. To be fixed.  It is hard.  Phil took me away for a few days. He had to visit Miami Beach for work (rough, I know. Especially in the middle of January.) He convinced to me tag along and try to get some rest - to try and clear my mind and sooth my soul. I am so grateful for the opportunity to do that. To just . . . BE.  But sometimes "BEing" can be really, really difficult.  The weather was gorgeous. The drinks were plentiful.    The beach was truly . . . breathtaking.  And my soul . . . my soul rested.  But sometimes . . . when your heart is broken . ....

Oh, my.    ( l   o   n    g          p  a  u  s  e ) Blogger. Blogspot. From Chaos Comes Happiness. Just saying those words brings up a lump in the back of my throat. From Chaos . . . . Come Happiness.  Wow. As I pulled out of my driveway this morning, I noticed how absolutely gorgeous the tree in our parkway looked. I paused for a minute and watched as a cool wind caused leaves to drop one after another, and thought to myself, "that tree isn't going to look the same when I come home 6 hours from now. Years ago, I would stop and take a photo of this tree . . . and I would share it on my blog . . . I should do that today."  So, I did. I stopped the car right there on the street in front of our home, put it in park, and hopped out to take a photo of our tree. And I took another. And another. Then I called Phil, who was inside working at the kitchen table, and asked him to...

It's 3:30AM, and I am wide awake. The hubby is half way through a long business trip. The wind outside is heavy - with the vibration of the siding along the bedroom wall being so strong right now, I become more and more awake with each rattle. Ella lays next to me, deep asleep. I know it is not a good idea to let her continue to lay with me at night when daddy is out of town, but I have to admit - the company warms my heart. Although, tonight I envy her sleep. I have been doing better with my sleep in recent weeks . . . my dear friend Peggy gave me an essential oil diffuser at Christmas, with a wonderful sampling of some lovely oils that have helped me find peace each night. I created a little "intention corner" in our bedroom ( ok - it's really my night stand with a few little nic-nacs, but i think 'intention corner' sounds fancier, don't you? ) I do find myself taking a few minutes each night to enjoy the space - reflect - relax - breath - all t...

A friend of mine posted this quote on Facebook this week, and the moment I read it - it was as if a stadium of people stood up in my head and cheered, " YES !" and " THIS !" and " BRAVOOO !", each exclamation repeating over and over in my head as I read and re-read the quote all week long. Written by the  most brilliant and giftedly insightful Anne Lamott, it sort of became my instant mantra . . . so much so, that I immediately shared it with my Facebook friends.   I can imagine a large art piece with this very quote hanging on a wall in our home. . . not that I want to entertain visitors with thoughts of my jiggly thighs or comfortable tummy . . . but because the meaning behind it all is so damn near perfect. "Don't let that happen," she tells us. "Don't forget to live that big, juicy, creative life." YES!! I think it is so fitting for me right now, because at some point during the last year - I thin...