From Chaos Comes Happiness

I've started a new chapter, friends . . . in my Book of Life.  I sat down tonight and thought about it - my book. I haven't thought about it in a long time. We each have our own book, you know? Some are long-drawn-out novels, others are short and sweet novellas. Some are cliff notes with only key moments included, others are multiple volumes in great lengths discussing every single battle in great detail. Some are strictly illustration, others have an extensive collection of footnotes that are longer than the story itself. But my story is mine, and yours is yours.  They started the day we were born, and have grown to carry each moment that makes us who we are.  I love thinking about people in my life, and wondering what their Book of Life looks like. Soft cover or hard? Hand-bound or spiral?  Big or Little? Would there be any photos, or would the words alone paint the images in our minds? I think every single book would be worth reading, and can only imagine wha...

Oh, my.    ( l   o   n    g          p  a  u  s  e ) Blogger. Blogspot. From Chaos Comes Happiness. Just saying those words brings up a lump in the back of my throat. From Chaos . . . . Come Happiness.  Wow. As I pulled out of my driveway this morning, I noticed how absolutely gorgeous the tree in our parkway looked. I paused for a minute and watched as a cool wind caused leaves to drop one after another, and thought to myself, "that tree isn't going to look the same when I come home 6 hours from now. Years ago, I would stop and take a photo of this tree . . . and I would share it on my blog . . . I should do that today."  So, I did. I stopped the car right there on the street in front of our home, put it in park, and hopped out to take a photo of our tree. And I took another. And another. Then I called Phil, who was inside working at the kitchen table, and asked him to...

I am so very blessed for this life I am living. For this sometimes stressful, sometimes frustrating, sometimes exhausting, sometimes aggravating, but 100% blessed life. Because even when the going gets tough . . . and yep, sometimes it does get tough . . . I still know how damn great I've got it. And this year, I am trying to do it as often as possible - trying to take those moments, the Thankful and Grateful Moments, and soak them up. Because I have many of them. Tonight, I am sitting at my computer looking through the photo from a recent trip we took to this January to Puerto Rico. I decided to get back to good ol'fashioned scrapbooking and want to start with this vacation, and sitting here looking at these photos - I am feeling my heart swell with gratitude for this trip. I would love to share a little bit of it with you. Like, this view . . . right here . . . Sometimes you see something and you think, "this can't be real" - almost like there ...

December 1 I want so much to stop the clock this month. To look. To take it all in. To BE in the moment. To LIVE the now. And NOT think about the tomorrow. Because I don't know where the past 11 months have gone. This morning as Ella and I sat at the kitchen table before our day began, Ella watching a Minecraft Video on her iPad and me catching up on my Yahtzee game, it felt as if time stood still for a brief moment. I stopped. I took it in. It was her breath that did it. It caught my attention and caused me to pause. This beautiful little soul that I brought into the world. My daughter. The sound of her breathing in and out softly, as she did her thing, brought a calmness over myself that I haven't felt in what seems like years. I grabbed my phone and snapped a photo of her, and then just sat there watching her. Hugging her Teddy. Her very best friend. She's changed so much this Fall. Glasses. Braces. Growing like a weed. Each day I watch her blo...

I am feeling better this week, my friends. Still having a few anxiety filled moments, but working very hard at keeping it all in control. I am trying to take more time, here and there, for my spirit. Even if only to close my eyes, take deep breaths in, and gain some quiet within my mind. It seems to be helping. Greatly.  I am also taking more photos and recognizing the "GOOD" each day. The GOOD . . . that seems to be what has kept me focused. I have so much good in my life (I hope that we all do). But in recent months, I allowed myself to get away from it. These past two weeks, I have  tried to reflect on it more often. To capture those moments and hold them a little closer before letting them go to the universe. The GOOD. Like . . . .  My dear friend, Scott    Scott and I have been friends for over 30 years (I think). He sent me a message after my last blog post (which means he must have actually read my blog post - that, alone, blew my mind), saying things onl...

If you are a Facebook friend of mine, you may be aware of the emotional events regarding 'Girl Scout Camp' that took place in our lives this week. (Oh, how I think I aged 10 years in the past 24 hours! Lordy!) If we do not cross Facebook paths, allow me to share a little story with you . . . It has to do with my oldest daughter, Katie . . . and a word we now refer to as the new "4 letter word" in our house . . . CAMP. As I gather my thoughts to sit and write the story of our experience - only now do I feel the anxiety lowering, the blood pressure has returned to a manageable level, and I am actually taking full, deep breaths in and out. Sometimes being a parent is rough . . . My oldest daughter signed up for Girl Scout camp this summer. From the beginning, I didn't feel good about it. And why would I? I am certain that in some past life of mine, I was a princess (or perhaps even a Queen).  I am the girl who insists we only sleep in hotels with "insid...

              A cardinal has been hanging around my house lately.  Last week he visited for three mornings in a row, usually around 7am. I heard him chirping away, calling out for his friends, as I sat at the kitchen table taking my first few sips of coffee.  Each day I tried to take a photo of him. The one above was the best I could take - because each time I pulled out the 'real' camera (with the awesome zoom lense), he'd fly away. Almost as if he was saying, "Nope, I am not here for that. I am here just for you ."   I got smart, and started to leave the camera on a little end table in my living room - with camera out of bag and lense already on, I was ready for his close-up.  He didn't come by the two days following. Darn Bird.   So me, my Cardinal, and my little iPhone camera meet up.  I love when he comes by. Because I feel like he is my Dad, checking on me. Just letting me know that he is around.  I still ...

                   I love when the Universe calls, you know? When you find yourself almost to the breaking point with thoughts of " life is rough and people can be pretty cruel and there is no way that I can make a difference"  - and then suddenly, a change. When the Universe reminds you of what matters. That yes, even in the simplest of ways, you can make a difference.  Yes, I love when that happens.  And this week, the Universe called me. Twice .  Most of you know that I went back into the work force two months ago - starting a new job at a pediatricians office on December 1st actually. Back in healthcare - the field that I have worked in for almost 25 years. It is a great fit for me (three days a week), and allows me enough flexibility that I can still have plenty of time to live out my creative dreams - and (most importantly) bring additional funds to our home on a regular basis.  Something is different abo...

I love the sound of leaves crunching under my feet. I love to feel them up against my legs as I walk through a pile of them. I prefer to have socks on to avoid as much itchiness as possible . . . but some days, unplanned walks in the woods are the very best thing for the soul. I've mentioned before how blessed I am to live where we live - not only because we are in the Midwest (which welcomes the seasons of winter, spring, summer and fall with open arms), but because we are just minutes away from a most lovely nature forest preserve. It is heavenly. I find myself taking a drive through it weekly . . . just turning down the street that leads straight into the path of peace . . . more often than not. Mostly without even realizing what I am doing. During many of these afternoon drives, I pull over and step out into the quiet for a quick walk, to just . . . breath. Sometimes I get my best deep breaths of air - in those woods. It's kind of like my heaven on earth. It...

I have never been one of those "blank" refrigerator door people - no matter how much I want to be, and no matter how much I try to be. There is always something that needs to be there . . . even if it is just one little magnet or piece of life that I want to remember. But the thing is . . . for me, it is never just one little magnet. Right now, it's about 18 little magnets. Give or take a few. I took a look at my chaotic and quite cluttered fridge door the other day, and decided it was time to clean it up. The only problem . . . was that I couldn't remove thing. Not one single thing. Because, believe it or not, each and every part of that door means something  special. Truly. So, I decided I should share the Anatomy of my Refrigerator Door with you, my beloved blog friends. Because it is silly, and so something I would do - to "air the dirty laundry" . . . or in this case, "air the fridge door".  Here it is - 1 to 18 - and the meanin...

I like to start my mornings sitting right here at my kitchen table, with a fresh, hot cup of coffee, and our backyard.       My red cardinal whirlie-gig that the girls bought for me.                   Our little blow up pool.                            The garden, and our sunflowers.                                     Sigh. This is my happy place. . . when the house is quiet, and the sunshine is just waking up the world outside. These are also the colors that make me happy. Lately, I can't get enough of them . . . I realized today, these are the colors of our backyard. Most mornings, I sit and watch my neighbor as he makes his way to his garden (which is right on the other side of the fence from ours.) He is a meticulous gardener, with his organiza...

My girls love to play those sort of "Q&A" games, where we ask each other questions and wait patiently for our answer.  "What's your favorite Ice Cream? What do you want to be when you grow up? What's the one favorite 'thing' of yours you would grab if we had a fire in the house? What makes you really really happy?   Which One Direction guy is your favorite? " sort of questions. I love when we play those games, too. It is a great way to really  learn about my girls. I like to think I know everything about them . . . but when we start playing our Q&A game, I realize just how much I don't know. It makes me happy to learn their likes and dislikes, their thoughts and ideas.   I like when the questions really get me thinking for my own answers. Things I don't often stop long enough to think about have to be answered when there are little ears waiting for a reply. For example . . . our favorite possessions. I know that Katie...

I love to say "thank you" to people. Actually, my favorite phrase is "thank you  SO much!" , with extra emphasis on the "so", because that's just how I roll. I use it as often in my daily life as possible. To the barrista at Starbucks who hands me my coffee, to the bagger at the grocery store who loads my shopping bags into my cart. To the stranger at a four-way-stop who lets me take a turn before them. The simple expression is one I say from my whole heart, and one that I hope to never forget for as long as I live. Thank you SO much. I like to thank my daughters, too, each morning as I gently wake them to start their day. I know that Katie is old enough to set her alarm clock and wake herself up, but there is something so special to me about those first moments when starting the day, that I choose to be the one to gentle welcome her into the land of the living. "Thank you for being my daughter," I tell her. The same with Ella, who will...

I've been waking up during the night lately. Quite often. It seems to happen around 3:30 am. It's happened about 10 out of the last 14 nights. This morning, I was deep in sleep when I swear I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. It was as real as could be. Tap. tap. tap. So real, that I quickly woke from my sleep and asked Phil if he was alright. He was just fine, because he was snoring. I repeated myself, "Honey, did you need me? You just woke me up." "No . . . I didn't. I'm sleeping," he said. "Oh, I'm sorry," I apologized. "Go back to bed." I turned over and looked at the clock on my night stand. It was 3:33 am. Whenever I wake in the middle of the night, thoughts always go to my father. During the last year of his life, I was awoken numerous times by that dreaded phone call during the night telling me something was wrong. I remember the day he passed away . . . a middle of the night phone call, telling us ...