Embracing ALL of Me

I've sat down and written this post three or four times now. I guess if something doesn't come easily, then I should just give it up, huh? For some reason, though, I couldn't. Especially after reading so many blogs this week on "embracing imperfections". Please allow me to share my own "embracing" story . . . the good, the bad, and the ugly.

When I started writing this post, I was heated and the blood was boiling. I was venting to the max and I wanted to tear it up with all my blogland friends. I think hanging around in blogland with my dear friend Nicole has got me liberated! ;) 

But then I decided that I needed to approach it all a little differently. I want to stay true to the person I am, so I'm decided to put a positive spin on what made me so annoyed this week.

Allow me, if you will, to share . . .

A few days ago, I stumbled upon a couple of blogs that just made me stop in my tracks and wonder … What in the world is happening? (It doesn’t matter what the blogs are or who they belong to, so none of that will be shared.) What bothered me was what was written and the struggles the authors are obviously faced with. For them, I dedicate this post . . . on embracing life - all of it.

One of the blogs was written by a woman who has, in the past 2 years, gained some weight. Now, I do not know this person directly, but what I can find out through her words is that she's been a little bit on the chubby side for most of her adult life (she tells you that in her blog.) Stick with me, I swear I am not judging her weight in ANY WAY!!! If you know me – you know that I AM CHUBBY and the last thing I would do would be to comment negatively on another person. But here’s where I get annoyed . . . her past 4 or 5 (or maybe even 10, because quite frankly, I stopped after reading 5 of them) blog posts are completely written about the excuses as to why she is chubby and why she has gained weight. She goes on, in great detail, to justify and explain, to self diagnose (she says so, herself) everything that is wrong with her 'medically' and why she is who she is. She discusses, in great detail, with very medical terms and definitions, why she is a little more plump this year than last. However, she comes right out to say she hasn't been to a doctor, although it could be 'blah, blah blah' that has caused her weight issue.

Here is where my frustration comes in . . .

For the love of the Lord . . . can it be that she is just . . . CHUBBY???? Do we have to, in the middle of making ourselves feel better about ourselves, come up with medical problems to explain our chubbiness? And not only medical issues, but she even goes on to blame her husband, his work schedule, her marriage, her children, and pretty much everything else around her for her weight.

I don’t know why . . . but this really really bothers me.

You see . . . I am chubby. (I KNOW! SHOCKING, isn't it???) But wait . . . let me clarify . . . I am chubby because I don’t take care of myself. I am chubby because . . .  I snack at night, when it is absolutely the WORST TIME possible to do so. I am chubby because I should exercise more and I should eat less. I am chubby . . . because of how I live my life.

NOT because my husband travels so much and I am home alone.
NOT because the girls go to sleep and I am bored at night and have nothing else to do.
NOT because I have a thyroid problem, or “this” or “that” wrong with me.
NOT because my gym shoes are uncomfortable, my socks don't fit right, and I don't have the money to buy new shoes.

NO, not at all. I am chubby . . . because of ME.

And here is the thing . . . I am who I am. THIS is ME. And I recognize that I, and ONLY I, can change it. There isn’t a medical problem that has caused me to be this way (although I do recognize that there are some illnesses and medications out there that cause weight gain, I really do). Someday I will be able to get control of myself and take care of myself - I believe that. Until that time, I'm going to accept myself and embrace myself. And not focus on the negative of what is "wrong" with me. People spend so much time focusing on the negative then just cutting to the chase. So today, I’m cutting to the chase.

Now, before you sign me off and un-follow me, deciding that you don’t want to read me anymore (which I hope you won’t do), I want to say that I do understand our blogs are our own, and we each have the absolute right to write whatever it is that we want. I have been know to admit that my own blog is very much a therapy session for me, and I have often stepped on the Pity-Party-Podium and written about it to you. Most of us have, at one time or another.  However, I've got the feeling that this sort of "woe-is-me" writing is what this person does all of the time. Well, I guess that might just be the purpose of her blog. I will say that I applaud the author as she works through these issues of hers, for I know that talking about something as personal as your own weight is not comfortable for everyone (Lord knows, it certainly isn’t comfortable for me).

But what I really wish I could do is get her to stop and embrace the person she is . . . chubby and all. I guess that is what this post really is about . . . don't throw excuses out there . . . don't blame everyone else for your life . . . stand up . . . take ownership of who you are and what you are . . . but above all else . . .LOVE YOURSELF. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.

Yes, life is hard. But there comes a time when you have to forgive yourself, love yourself, and move on.

Today, I'm moving on  . . . and I probably won't visit that particular blog any longer. I don't think my words would even help her. But maybe someone reading this will stop and realize that it's ok to be "chubby" . . . it's even better than ok. It's damn near perfect . . . imperfections and all.

Comments

  1. Nice post, good words, excellent message. I understand completely. Have a great day!

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  2. Leanne, very well said!! Nothing will change in that blogger's life until she takes ownership of her life.
    As for your followers, we embrace you!! And appreciate how candid you are!

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  3. Leanne, let me just say that I absolutely LOVE you!!! I love your honesty and I love how you love you! In comparison to others, I guess I am not considered chunky...what I see in the mirror is way different. I still see that smaller person I once was. But I am the only reason that that is not the case anymore. This post touched me in a different way though, because here lately I have not been feeling very attractive. And this post reminded me to stop looking at the flaws and embrace the spirit inside instead. Like I said earlier, I totally love you. PS. Yes I am so glad we found each other again too!

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  4. You hit the nail on the head with this one. We have GOT to stop blaming the world for what is completely within our control. Especially when It comes to weight. Look - I know I am chubby (heck, I can say it - I am fat.) But I get my big caboose out there and I try to shake it and move in order to maybe, just maybe at least balance out the caloric intake and fitness. It's all in good time. What I hate is when people complain about this and that, and WHY they can't do something. A million excuses later and life will be over. :p

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  5. Amen, sista! Preach it! I am "chubby" too, and although I'm not thrilled with it, I KNOW it's my own darned fault! LOL And by the way, chubby or not...I think you are CUTE, and FUNNY, and SMART, and it doesn't matter to me one bit if you are 90 lbs or 190 lbs...it's YOU that I like. Keep tellin' it like it is!!!

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  6. All I can say is that I personally agree. I have my moments, ok Tuesdays, and then I move on. I may end up toothless and um chubby by the time I am 50, if not sooner, but I shall not stop loving the good parts of me...well on the days that are not Tuesdays that I can do that LOL


    By the way I think you are beautiful inside and out....someone recently told me that and well it helped with my whole outlook, at least for that day...guess it was not a Tuesday LOL *Smooch*

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  7. Ah Leanne...I really like this and what a beautiful picture of you:)

    Self acceptance...is oh so very important :)

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  8. Here here!!! Well said, and well done! (Although, I would have LOVED to have read the first version of this post before you re-wrote it!)

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  9. You know, I would have probably stopped reading them too. I blog about gaining weight, but I also blog how I'm going to DIET and WORKOUT. hahaha I wished there was a medical reason for the roundness of my belly, but alas, I doubt it is true. :)

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  10. We have to love ourselves -- and others -- precisely BECAUSE or our quirks and idiosyncracies and imperfections, not despite them. It's not even about whether one is chubby or not -- it's about deluding oneself and making excuses, rather than facing the truth and being honest. And it's about personal responsibility. I take full responsibility, for example, for having eaten both Cheetos and Milk Duds yesterday after my son bought some and brought them home (which I never do, because I know I can't resist them!). And when my jeans get tight, I'll know it's my own fault for having indulged. Or, I could just say that life is meant to be enjoyed, and I enjoyed myself immensely! 'Tis better to die with orange powder on one's fingertips and caramel stuck to one's teeth than to have eaten tofu, after all ... :)

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  11. This post is right on and I agree 100%!! I could really go on and on about other issues as well that people need to stop blaming others for {but I won't because this isn't the place}.

    Good for you for writing this post, too. I mean there are times I can get totally consumed with my weight and quite frankly I am tired of that. I am tired of feeling I have to look a certain way. So what my tummy isn't flat. Big, flippin' deal, right? I love me and that is what matters!

    Love you, girlfriend.

    Les

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  12. The truth is that it is easier to blame other people for our own failings than to take the hit ourselves. It is really hard when the thing you hate the most about yourself is YOUR fault. You want to throw that arrow at someone else, anyone else, because accepting that YOUR choices brought you to this place sucks ~ BIG TIME. It takes a strong person to say that other things are contributing factors, but 95% of the problem is me. Life has thrown some stuff that actually wasn't my fault that brought me to this place, but the rest... is all on me. Not everyone can do that. You are right. It is hard to read. Someone needs to be direct with this person and to say gently, but honestly, that she alone controls what goes into her mouth. I think that comments that are made with love can make a difference. It may not be what someone wants to hear, but it may be what they NEED to hear. That said, if you don't feel like you are the person to say it, you are not under any obligation to do so. Maybe this person will read your post and rethink her choices. I hope so. Good for you for writing it.

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  13. Own it Sister...I love your honesty. I'm chubby for all the same reasons you are lol see we are sisters but I'm more chubby HA. Great post, I once came across some blog that all the lady did was go off on how bad her life was because of her step mother, why do people live life like that?

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  14. I discovered the first step to losing weight was to accept my body. Then I wanted to feed it properly. Amazing, but sure works for me.

    Sounds like you are there!

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  15. Such a great post. This seems to be a recurring theme lately, embracing who you are and finding a way to love yourself. With the high profile teenage suicides in the past couple of weeks and posts like the one to which you're referring, it really breaks my heart that we all can't seem to love ourselves. I am far from perfect, but I still try to find something to like.

    I wish I could just help out everyone that feels like they aren't good enough. To help them. But that's not possible. It's the kind of thing that has to come from within.

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  16. Sorry I missed this the first time around .... I appreciate you and your blog for the honest way you show your life, but don't *dwell* on anything negative. Thank you for sharing your joyous approach to life, to accepting, to moving forward with grace and beauty. You are a beautiful person, inside and out. Love you!

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