The 4 a.m. Memory
"Mommy . . . . Mommy . . . Mommy? Will you lay with me for a little bit?"
I looked at the alarm clock on my nightstand. The blurry numbers 4:00 flashed back at me. This morning. 4 a.m.
"What's the matter, honey?" I asked, trying to get my mind and body in sync.
"I just wondered if you would come and lay with me in my bed," she asked. My Ella.
She doesn't ask that of me very often. She is such a good sleeper, and going to bed has never been a big battle with this one. However, every once in a while she wakes in the middle of the night and can't seem to get herself back to sleep. That's when she finds her way to my bedside, and with her sweet little hand, gently nudges me to the land of the living with her soft voice.
I don't mind crawling into her bed with her on nights like that. They are few and far between, and it's so rare that this little one stops long enough during her day for a snuggle, that I love late nights (or early mornings, in this case) when I can lay by her side and hold her close. I love to watch her sweet face as her breathing slows down and falls into a deep sleep. It's heaven.
I found myself thinking of the moment I found out she was on the way . . . when I learned that I was pregnant. Did I ever tell you that story?
It was my birthday, actually. May 21st, 2006.
Phil was on a plane, or heading to the airport, or something like that . . . on his way to Washington, D.C. for business. And I had just visited my gynecologist days before. Something wasn't right with me, and I knew it. Although my ultra paranoid 35 year old self was CERTAIN that I was going through some form of early menopause (yes, I am serious.) I had been growing increasingly irritable and finding myself frustrated at everyone. I was feeling drained and exhausted. I was having hot flashes. And while we had been trying to add to our family for about 8 months, I was certain that I wasn't getting pregnant because I was starting menopause. Yes. I was so certain, that I almost couldn't believe any other thing could be happening to me.
So, a day or two beforehand, I took a visit to my friendly doctor. Dr. Umpai. Love her.
The morning of the 21st, I was driving from Katie's school, and called Dr. Umpai to check on the test results of some blood work she was had ordered. You see, we thought perhaps it was my thyroid. Or my iron levels. Or perhaps some other rare disease.
As I held the phone to my ear, I heard her review the results.
"Thyroid is fine . . . Iron . . . fine . . . blood sugar, fine . . . LDL HDL levels, good . . . . OH! Here you go . . . here it is . . . YOUR PREGNANT!" she announced.
"I'm . . . I'm PREGNANT?" I asked. I mean, I was already to buy stock in frozen peas and those special hormone replacement creams Susan Somers talks about. I mean . . . PREGNANT?
"Yes!" she answered, "You are pregnant. Very early, though . . . but yes. You are definitely pregnant!"
"Are you sure?" I questioned.
"Yes, Leanne!" she answered. I think she was tired of me asking her the same thing, over and over.
So there we had it . . . Ella was on the way.
I called Phil, and gave him the news over the phone. The joy in his voice was one I will never forget. Soon our three would be a four. A blessing, for sure.
So this morning, as I sat looking at my angel gently fall back to sleep, I recalled the day I learned of her pending arrival. Months later . . . our girl arrived. And I haven't stopped counting my blessings since.
Many of you may follow my facebook page, and have probably seen this photo already . . . it's Ella, helping her Grandma (my Mom) last week. Grandma Carol had her left knee replaced a little over a week ago, and her nurse (Ella) has been taking the best care of her in the world.
Most five year olds I know would be afraid to touch their injured Grandma's legs. Not our Ella. With gentle hands, she knelt on the floor in front of her Grandma and rubbed lotion into her grandma's dry skin. Over and over. I grabbed my iPhone and snapped this quick photo of the moment, because I don't ever want to forget this moment of her caring for her Grandma.
And this morning, at 4 a.m., I said a prayer and thanked God for sending her to all of us.
Because in the big picture of life . . . this is all that really matters.
Wishing you peace, my friends. And tender moments, just like this.
Hugs.
I looked at the alarm clock on my nightstand. The blurry numbers 4:00 flashed back at me. This morning. 4 a.m.
"What's the matter, honey?" I asked, trying to get my mind and body in sync.
"I just wondered if you would come and lay with me in my bed," she asked. My Ella.
She doesn't ask that of me very often. She is such a good sleeper, and going to bed has never been a big battle with this one. However, every once in a while she wakes in the middle of the night and can't seem to get herself back to sleep. That's when she finds her way to my bedside, and with her sweet little hand, gently nudges me to the land of the living with her soft voice.
I don't mind crawling into her bed with her on nights like that. They are few and far between, and it's so rare that this little one stops long enough during her day for a snuggle, that I love late nights (or early mornings, in this case) when I can lay by her side and hold her close. I love to watch her sweet face as her breathing slows down and falls into a deep sleep. It's heaven.
I found myself thinking of the moment I found out she was on the way . . . when I learned that I was pregnant. Did I ever tell you that story?
It was my birthday, actually. May 21st, 2006.
Phil was on a plane, or heading to the airport, or something like that . . . on his way to Washington, D.C. for business. And I had just visited my gynecologist days before. Something wasn't right with me, and I knew it. Although my ultra paranoid 35 year old self was CERTAIN that I was going through some form of early menopause (yes, I am serious.) I had been growing increasingly irritable and finding myself frustrated at everyone. I was feeling drained and exhausted. I was having hot flashes. And while we had been trying to add to our family for about 8 months, I was certain that I wasn't getting pregnant because I was starting menopause. Yes. I was so certain, that I almost couldn't believe any other thing could be happening to me.
So, a day or two beforehand, I took a visit to my friendly doctor. Dr. Umpai. Love her.
The morning of the 21st, I was driving from Katie's school, and called Dr. Umpai to check on the test results of some blood work she was had ordered. You see, we thought perhaps it was my thyroid. Or my iron levels. Or perhaps some other rare disease.
As I held the phone to my ear, I heard her review the results.
"Thyroid is fine . . . Iron . . . fine . . . blood sugar, fine . . . LDL HDL levels, good . . . . OH! Here you go . . . here it is . . . YOUR PREGNANT!" she announced.
"I'm . . . I'm PREGNANT?" I asked. I mean, I was already to buy stock in frozen peas and those special hormone replacement creams Susan Somers talks about. I mean . . . PREGNANT?
"Yes!" she answered, "You are pregnant. Very early, though . . . but yes. You are definitely pregnant!"
"Are you sure?" I questioned.
"Yes, Leanne!" she answered. I think she was tired of me asking her the same thing, over and over.
So there we had it . . . Ella was on the way.
I called Phil, and gave him the news over the phone. The joy in his voice was one I will never forget. Soon our three would be a four. A blessing, for sure.
So this morning, as I sat looking at my angel gently fall back to sleep, I recalled the day I learned of her pending arrival. Months later . . . our girl arrived. And I haven't stopped counting my blessings since.
Many of you may follow my facebook page, and have probably seen this photo already . . . it's Ella, helping her Grandma (my Mom) last week. Grandma Carol had her left knee replaced a little over a week ago, and her nurse (Ella) has been taking the best care of her in the world.
Most five year olds I know would be afraid to touch their injured Grandma's legs. Not our Ella. With gentle hands, she knelt on the floor in front of her Grandma and rubbed lotion into her grandma's dry skin. Over and over. I grabbed my iPhone and snapped this quick photo of the moment, because I don't ever want to forget this moment of her caring for her Grandma.
And this morning, at 4 a.m., I said a prayer and thanked God for sending her to all of us.
Because in the big picture of life . . . this is all that really matters.
Wishing you peace, my friends. And tender moments, just like this.
Hugs.
Oh Leanne! You stole my heart away with this post. Absolutely gorgeous. Your love, your tenderness and your pride come through here. Love this and love you too!
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful post:O) I know how you feel when it comes to our kids:O) Thank You for sharing:O)
ReplyDeleteElla is the bravest kid I have ever met. She's not afraid of the dark, she will try almost anything (from exotic foods to rock wall climbing) and will give gramma's legs a massage (certainly something I couldn't do!). What a great kid.
ReplyDeleteYour daughter seems to be a truly beautiful person, Leanne!
ReplyDeleteWhat a sweet and precious little girl! You are so blessed my friend.
ReplyDeleteSelena
She can make your pull the hair from your head, she can make you laugh till the tears run like rivers and she can melt your heart with the simplist thought and gesture . . . she is truly your daughter Ms Leanne!
ReplyDeleteLove you all
Rita
Oh, so beautiful! What a caring, sweet soul! You have managed to lower my blood pressure as I read this post, Leanne! So calming!
ReplyDeleteLove that little girl!
what a sweet story! I love when my little ones (8 year old twins!) snuggle in bed with me. Nothing better. I can relate to your sweet little Ella being a nurse. I just had knee surgery myself and one of my girls has been a particularly good nurse. So sweet.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful story and you know?, those two girls stole my heart. I just wished I could fly and be right there! Lovely!
ReplyDelete