Moments of Peace

I'm focused today. Lots of things on my list . . . and one way or another - I'm going to accomplish them! I've realized that I am the only person who can get me out of Funkytown. So, I'm working on it . . . one moment at a time.

I'm leaning on my *COURAGE* this week. When I picked that word, I had no idea how much I would rely on it. We (COURAGE and I) are standing up for ourselves. We are believing in each other. We are encouraging each other. It's a wonderful thing.

I also have these two amazing little girls . . . you know? These two little souls who continue to remind me of what really matters in this life of mine.

I was having one of those evenings last night . . . watching the clock every second waiting for bed time to come. Just praying for some quiet and the sounds of "Mommy . . . Mommmm? Mom! MOM! Mommy!!! Mom . . . Mom?!?!? MOM!!!!!" to rest their little heads down for the night and leave me with some peace. I was anxious, as getting these sweet souls off to sleep was starting to turn into a bit of a battle. . . Katie was particularly talkative, as I was called back into her room about three times before she finally settled down for the night. But the last "Mom???" from her made it all ok, as her words softened my anxious state.

"Mom?" she called.

"What is it now, Kate?" I answered.

"You know 'Adele'?" she asked.

"Yes, honey. I know Adele," I answered.

"I love to hear her music. It makes me think of you, Mommy. I think of you and can almost hear you singing along with her in our kitchen. It makes me so happy, Mommy. And birds . . . when I see them . . . the red cardinals or blue birds or anything like that . . . they make me think of you, too. I just wanted to tell you that." she said.

*sigh*

I have this memory of sitting at my Grandma's kitchen table . . . I must be around Katie's age (8 or 9) and I am watching her dance, as the sweet sounds of Big Band music play from her radio. I could have watched Grandma dance around her kitchen for hours. If I close my eyes now, I see her. Her right arm in the air holding her imaginary partner, her eyes closed, and her body turning round and round to the music. I can feel myself sway to the music in my mind, and feel as if Grandma is with me. It's a memory of my Grandma that makes my heart so happy.

Knowing that Katie has a memory of me signing in the kitchen to Adele made me stop in my tracks and think of Grandma. And the anxiety I've been carrying for weeks now just left my very soul.

It was a wonderful moment.

I bent down and kissed her forehead, and softly closed her door  . . . with the biggest smile on my face.

"Mom . . . . Mommmmy????" This time . . . it came from the room next door, and from Ella. "Mommy, can you just sit with me for a few minutes, while I fall asleep?" she asked.

"Sure, honey," I said. As I knelt on the floor next to her bed, she grabbed my arm and hand and snuggled up close to me. My hand ended up right on her chest, and I could feel her heart beating right in my palm. lub-dup, lub-dup, lub-dup, lub-dup, lub-dup, lub-dup, lub-dup . . . life. Right there. In the palm of my hand. Life that came from me. This beautiful beautiful being. 

*sigh*

My Moments of Peace. They were with me all along. I just needed to stop . . . be . . . and open my heart to them.

Today, I still feel that peace that both of my girls gave me last night.

It feels oh-so good.

And I thank God for these little girls.

I've got lots to do . . . and lots to create. I've decided that I need to release myself of the *GUILT* (gees, I hate that word. Does anyone else have a problem with GUILT in their life, or am I just a GUILT NUT) . . . anyway, I need to release myself of the GUILT I feel for not taking that job and I need to get back to what I want to do with my life. CREATE ART. CREATE INSPIRATION. CREATE a WORLD that will ENCOURAGE and INSPIRE beauty for ALL.

So, I'm doing something with all of these today . . .

Can't wait to share it with you.

Hugs, my friends. Wishing you Moments of Peace in your day.