Jack Bauer and some Random Thinking Moments

I’ve been up to my elbows in a special project for work this week. Augh. I don’t like when life responsibilities take me away from blog life. Bummer. But, you know me. Even when work is involved – I still have a good story to tell. Without telling you the boring specifics, I have to share a bit of this experience with you. You’ll soon see this has really very little to do with work, itself, and has mostly to do with me and this happy chaos I live.

I’ve spent the past few work days pulling files at the office of one of our clients . . . in a dungeon. OK, so it’s not really a dungeon. It’s a basement in a good size office building. It’s a relatively new building, so fortunately the basement hasn’t become the ‘catch all’ that most office building basements become. This one is clean and orderly – but still, a basement in a building (concrete blocks and spiders to prove it!). It kind of has a warehouse feeling to it. When I first arrived to this space Friday of last week, the manager (who really is a lovely lady) had set up a nice little desk for me to work at … up against a wall … with my back to whoever was (or was not) entering. As soon as the manager left, I quickly turned my desk around so I could see who was behind me at all times. I mean, I watch 24 (one of those tradeoffs with the husband – I watch one of his programs with him, and he’ll watch one of mine with me. So . . . he sits through GLEE!! Which, by the way, I think he silently LOVES!) Anyway, as I said, I watch 24 . . . I know that a warehouse/storage area is a MAJOR CATASTROPHE in the life of Jack Bauer. I was ready for . . . anything.

I spent much of Friday going through boxes and boxes of files from 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009 and scanning scanning scanning away documents that are needed for my company. And while I’m lifting, searching, scanning . . . well, you know how this mind of mine works. That random thinking starts . . .

I start thinking what Jack Bauer would do if something happened in a setting like this. I prepare, in my mind, what I would do if Mr. Scary Bad Guy came in and wanted my files (which, for a reality check, would NOT happen), but you know . . . the mind just takes over. I case the room out (in between scans) and imagine how I could hide on a shelf here or jump over that stack of boxes there (yes, I actually think I can jump over boxes). I would definitely push a shelving unit down on that Mr. Scary Bad Guy. I would grab my gun (oh, wait, I don’t have a gun!) . . . ok, I would grab my stapler, and this would be my weapon. Yes, the Jack Bauer in me would come out.

Or, I could just hand the Mr. Scary Bad Guy a stack of papers and make him sort through them – because those damn paper cuts hurt worse than anything! So, my mind leaves Jack Bauer and 24, and travels to paper cut land. After a project like this, my hands look like they’ve been to hell and back. Isn’t it so frustrating? Those TINY LITTLE paper cuts hurt almost as much as giving birth. Seriously. Good thing I brought a box of band-aids with me.

Wait! I could give Mr. Scary Bad Guy a big ol’stack of papers that have one of those thick, nasty rubber bands around them that always manages to SNAP the minute you start to take the rubber band off. You know … SNAP!!!! Owwwwieee, those are PAINFUL! I should have brought gloves with me, like gardening gloves, to protect my hands. Yes, I should have done that.

I also should have brought a weight lifter with me (mind traveling again). Yes, I could use a strong weight lifter to help me with those boxes. You know, I’m beginning to think that those little 5 lb. weights I’ve been using when dancin’ with Richard Simmons and “Sweatin’ to the oldies”, aren’t really doing much for me here. My arms are KILLING me as I lift these boxes. They are legal size boxes that are FULL, to the max, with papers. So, they have got to be 50 or 60 pounds each (seriously). When I first tried to get one of the boxes off of the top shelf on Friday, I didn’t realize how heavy they were … let me set the scene for you: Imagine, if you will, me, standing on a stool, pulling a box off of the top shelf, and only then realizing I couldn’t lift it. However, I managed to slide it enough off of the shelf to balance it nicely ON MY HEAD. So I stood there, on the stool, with a 50 lb. legal box of documents on my head, thinking, “Oh My Lord, please don’t send the Mr. Scary Bad Guy in right now . . . because my stapler is all the way over on my desk and I’ve got this damn box on my head and I can’t move right now!!!!” I think I stood with this box on my head for a good 3 minutes, until I realized that I had 2 choices: 1) I could try to slide it back on the shelf, or 2) I could just drop it to the ground and pray that the box would survive the fall (and hope that the contents of the box would not get too messed up.) I decided to slide the box back on the shelf, where it remained, until a nice, strong, IT guy happened to come by (because, you know, IT guys are the only type who hangs around in office basements).

The IT guy, I think his name was Nick, asked me what I did wrong to get stuck working in the dungeon. (Which is so funny to me, because that’s exactly what I wondered.) We then laughed and decided that I must have been REAL bad in a past life. He offers to get the boxes down for me, so I will survive this gig without too much physical damage (there are, after all, the paper cuts I have to live through.) I accept his offer, graciously, and retreat to my table … stapler nearby.

So, there you have it. Just a little story about what I’ve been doing this week. I’m not quite finished with my project – and rumor has it I’ll have more things to scan in the weeks ahead. I think I need to take a break from watching 24 while I’m working here. Maybe I should tune into “Dancing with the Stars”. Oh, wait … maybe not. I don’t think Nick the IT guy wants to do the Cha-Cha or Waltz while pulling boxes for me. Maybe I need to turn the TV off all together, and perhaps just pick up some 10 lb. weights to work on my upper body strength. Yes, that’s a good plan, don’t you think?

What have you been doing this week? Any Random Thinking Moments in your life? I’d love to know!

Comments

  1. LEANNE!! Your killin' me! I didn't think there was anyone on this earth with more of an active imagination than me. Clearly I was wrong!! ;)

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  2. I think this job is driving you into the inner recesses of your mind. We are enjoying the ride!

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  3. It's just so good to know that we're not the only ones who can carry a boring situation to an extreme and actually be quite entertained by it! No one does it better than you, Leanne!! That was quite a journey!

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  4. Love it, love it, love it! This made my day! And I thought I had a run-away imagination! Glad to know I'm not alone!

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