The Ice Cream Stage

I think I'm going through the stages of grief.

It's kind of like that, you know? Losing a job . . . something has ended. A relationship has died. My regular blog friend readers know that I am a passionate person, and that passion carries into most parts of my life (both my personal as well as professional life). While work was "business", I had relationships with people who I cared for. It is this part of being laid off that has me struggling most. Little things pop into my head about work, and I think, "Oh, I forgot to send that email . . . " or "oh, I had better finish that . . . " and then I realize . . . it's over. I don't need to do that. I don't need to finish that, or send that. It's over.  Then this overwhelming feeling takes over, like there is something turning in my stomach or like I can't catch my breath.

Grief.

Yes, I'm feeling it.

And I think I'm in the Ice Cream Stage right about now.

The brilliant Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross has helped us all have a better understanding of grief. Through her words and writing, I can better understand what is happening in my mind.

The Five Stages of Grief
1. Denial and Isolation. At first, we tend to deny the loss has taken place, and may withdraw from our usual social contacts. This stage may last a few moments, or longer. (Yes, I definitely felt that. I had to leave - get away from it all - get in my car and drive.)

2. Anger. The grieving person may then be furious at the person who inflicted the hurt (even if she's dead), or at the world, for letting it happen. He may be angry with himself for letting the event take place, even if, realistically, nothing could have stopped it.  (Definitely felt this one. Lasted a short time, only a day or two, but I was MAD.)

3. Bargaining. Now the grieving person may make bargains with God, asking, "If I do this, will you take away the loss?" (I've thought about this too. Like, 'perhaps if I called and offered this, then they would allow that' kind of thinking.)

4. Depression. The person feels numb, although anger and sadness may remain underneath. (I think I am feeling this one today. Numb. I replied to a comment from a blog friend telling her that I just feel "less" . . . and not in the "I've lost 10 pounds" kind of way. I actually perfer to call this stage, The Ice Cream Stage, because ice cream kind of makes me feel a little better. Not a lot of ice cream. Just a little. I mean, the picture above might look like a BIG BOWL of ice cream, but it's actually a little bowl, with a small enough portion to not gain 10 pounds, but big enough for me to enjoy it. I like ice cream.)

5. Acceptance. This is when the anger, sadness and mourning have tapered off. The person simply accepts the reality of the loss. (Can't wait to get here. This will be a good day.)

Overall, I continue to remind myself that I am blessed, and that everything does happen for a reason. I just have to hang in there - find my way - and breath. Until then, I have a spoonful of ice cream.

Ever find yourself in the Ice Cream stage? How long did it take until you finally put the spoon down? Leave me a comment . . . I'd love to know.